


What did you feel? (When part of you died)

by Dillendopp



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Forbidden Love, Illness, Light Angst, Therapist AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24389050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillendopp/pseuds/Dillendopp
Summary: Sara sat once again in that very beautiful but clean room of her psychiatrist. The room became familiar throughout the last 5 months.Just when she found her dream job, something bad happened to her. Not that she was surprised, but she still had hope, that for once in her life not everything she did was going to shit.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 54
Kudos: 160





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this is my first attempt on writing a story and I hope you`ll enjoy reading. I worte this to cope with something that really happened to me in early january and of course to improve my english skills. I´m thrilled for any comments or suggestions for improvement.

„What do you feel, when you think about that?” Dr. Sharpe asked her patient.  
Sara sat once again in that very beautiful but clean room of her psychiatrist. The room became familiar throughout the last 5 months.  
Just when she found her dream job, something bad happened to her. Not that she was surprised, but she still had hope, that for once in her life not everything she did was going to shit.  
When she first got here, she was so wrapped up in herself and her own thoughts she couldn´t even acknowledge the beauty of her doctors` face.   
Sara wasn´t one to go to a doctor, especially not to a psychiatrist. But when she did get her diagnosis 5 months ago she had to learn and accept that doctors’ appointments and constant medical treatment would be necessary for her entire life, if she didn´t want her condition to worsen over the years.

5 months prior

Sara sat in her hospital bed nervous and high from the sedative injection she got before her MRI scan.  
From the moment she went to the hospital to get help she knew, something was off. 

Quentin knocked on her door and after he entered the room he went to his daughter and held her close.  
“Dad, I´m scared and high as fuck.”  
“Sara Honey, what did they treat you with?” Quentin asked concerned and looked his daughter in the eyes.  
“I got a treatment with highly dosed cortisone mixed with pregabalin and I´m also high from that sedative they gave me about an hour ago.” Sara slurred a little.

Someone was knocking on the door and when the two doctors Sara was treated by for the last 6 days came in and suggested that they should take a seat and listen, Sara knew, she was only seconds away from hearing the worst message in her life. 

“Well Miss Lance, we just examined your MRI scans und we have to tell you, it´s not a brain tumor, BUT you have multiple sclerosis.” The moment those words left the doctors mouth, Sara felt a part of her die. It slipped away and Sara knew that she will never see that part of her again. Something Inside of her broke and she just sat there with tears in her eyes, shocked, sad and angry. She said nothing. Her father just kept silent but wide-eyed. 

“Miss Lance, we want you to know that this isn´t a death warrant. You can life your life just as you did before but you need to adapt. No stress, less alcohol, a healthy diet, sports…” the doctor said but Sara just zoned out.  
After a few moments of silence her voice started quivering from anger and despair “I don´t want this. I don´t even want to hear what you have to say,” Sara tried to stay polite “listen, thank you for your help but I really need to get out of here.” With every word she said it became more and more difficult to stay calm. She started packing her belongings in her bag leaving the doctors and her father baffled “And I really fucking need a fucking cigarette and a fucking whiskey right now! Dad? Can you take me home?” Sara didn´t even wait for an answer grabbed the doctor’s certificate and stormed off, still high and just when she stepped out of the building she lit a cigarette even though she shouldn´t.”

“Miss Lance? Is everything okay?” Dr. Sharpe asked after Sara stayed silent lost in thought.  
“Yes, I´m just thinking.” Sara smiled  
“So?”  
“What do you expect me to feel, when you get a devastating diagnosis at the age of 27?” Sara asked nearly closing off again.  
“I can´t imagine what it must feel like Miss Lance, but I need to know. Do you remember what you said the last time I asked you that exact same question?” Dr. Sharpe looked at Sara.  
“I told you that it´s not important and asked you why you even care and that I want to cancel the therapy, because I think that this is all just not necessary.” Sara said unnerved  
“Right Miss Lance, so what is your answer now?” Dr. Sharpe took a note on her notepad.  
“Therapy still sucks… but you helped me a lot, doc. I´m happier now and I start to accept that the symptoms of my episode most likely won’t vanish completely and that I need to adapt to the situation.”  
“Very good Miss Lance, I see you´re making progress. I´d say that this is good for the rest of your therapy.” Dr. Sharpe smiled.  
“Thank you doctor. See you next Friday.” Sara smiled got up from the sofa and walked to the door.  
“Goodbye Miss Lance.” Dr. Sharpe smiled and opened the door for her Patient.

Back home Sara called her best friend Zari.

“What´s up?” Zari answered the phone chewing on something Sara was convinced must have been a Donut.

“I´m okay Z, Want to come over for the new Legends episode?” Sara asked.

“Sure, I´ll be there in about 30 minutes.” Zari said choking because of the attempt of speaking with her mouth full. 

“I´m home!” Ava exclaimed entering her apartment.  
“In the kitchen.” Ava´s friend and roommate Nora hollered back.  
“It smells good in here.” Ava smiled and poured herself a glass of wine.   
“Don´t celebrate too early, I just tried something new.” Nora smiled.  
“Oh, don´t worry it´ll taste good.” Ava said sipping at her drink.

After Nora finished cooking, they sat down eating their dinner.  
Ava was uncharacteristically quiet. “Everything okay?” Nora asked her best friend.  
“Yeah.” Ava answered absentmindedly.  
“Oh, come on Ava, you´re a bad liar! what´s wrong?” Nora took another bite.  
Ava took another sip of her wine and answered. “I don´t know Nora, this patient of mine is in my mind all day. She´s just 27 and got diagnosed with MS. I had her in my therapy for about 4 months now and she keeps getting better. But every time I see her she reminds me that anything can happen. One day you´re happy and nothing´s wrong and the other day life hits you that hard and everything changes.  
But then I see her kicking that disease in the ass and I´m just mesmerized. She´s a really beautiful woman. I really like her spirit.”  
“Well Ava, do I have to remind you that you are in fact her DOCTOR and not someone she could date?” Nora asked with her mouth full eyes wide open in horror that the words she just heard could indicate that Ava´s about to do something stupid.  
“What?! NO!! Nora… no, no, no... I´m just… I don´t know….”  
“Don´t do anything stupid!” Nora said examining her best friends’ expression.

“Oh, my gooooooood.” Sara exclaimed, her eyes wide open, watching the main character surprise her girlfriend with a new set of lingerie in her office.  
Zari started laughing because of her best friends’ reaction. “Oh, the spiderwebs are speaking?”  
“No, Z, you´re an ass.” Sara turned bright red.  
“Sara, we need to go out and look for someone for you.” Zari said stuffing her third donut in her mouth.  
“Z, I´m okay, I just need to focus on myself now.”   
“Well, you´re making progress. That therapist of yours seems to do a decent job. What´s her name? Zari asked.  
“Dr. Ava Sharpe. Why do you ask?”   
Zari fumbled with her phone smirking and showing Sara a photo of her therapist. “Is that her?”  
“Yes.”  
“She´s hot, beside the pantsuit.” Zari still smirked.  
“I like the pantsuit.” Sara said innocently.  
Zari`s smirk got bigger. “The pantsuit, hm? She´s not much older than you. She´s born in 1988.”  
“What are you implying?” Sara asked.  
“Nothing, just that she´s hot and not much older than you.” Zari winked.  
“Z, she´s my therapist, not someone I should or even could make a move on.” Sara just couldn´t believe what Zari just said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay Miss Lance, I believe you. I´ll see you in two weeks and remember, that in cases of emergency you still have my phone number.” Ava opened the door for Sara once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got off work early so I had time to update.  
> Thank you guys for support. It´s new for me to post stories online and I didn´t even think that someone would like what I´m writing, so thank you again. As always I´m thrilled for any comments on this story, feel free to write them in English, German, Spanish, French or Italian I´ll understand and I will definitely answer. If you have an idea what I could do better in the next chapters, feel free to tell me.  
> Enjoy and stay safe  
> L

The next therapy sessions went on and Sara was making great progress.  
She even started to go to the gym again. She was happier than a few months ago. Also, she started to work again, even though she needed to adapt the schedule and wasn´t able to work full time, she just felt that relief to be able to do anything other than sitting on her couch and doing nothing other than grieving.

“Miss Lance, nice to see you again.” Her therapist smiled.  
“Hello, doctor Sharpe.” Sara smiled widely and entered the familiar room.  
“How are you?” Doctor Sharpe asked Sara after retrieving her notebook and sitting down.  
“I´m good actually. I started working again and it just feels good.” Sara said.  
“So, what do you do for a living? Tell me about your job.”   
“I work in customs clearance. My job is to declare shipments to customs and I absolutely love this job, I know for some people it may sound boring, but I love the switch in languages and sometimes it is really funny to see what people ordered online.” Sara smiled talking about her job and Ava could see and hear how much Sara cared about her career.

“What switch in languages?” Ava asked and saw her patients eyes light up.  
“Well, doctor, I have a talent for learning languages, so I did, which is advantageous in my job.  
Every day I have to look at hundreds of bills from all over the world and sometimes they´re not in English, but German, Italian, Spanish, French or many other languages. I had to do a test, that shows to what extend I´m able to understand the language, so now I´m allowed to declare customs in the languages I mentioned.”   
Ava looked at Sara mesmerized. Of course, Ava was too professional to admit that something on Sara Lance fascinated her.  
“I see you´re getting better. What would you say is the most helpful for your recovery, Miss Lance?” Ava asked looking in Sara´s eyes. Those beautiful azures, which are making her think she´s drowning in the sea and she doesn´t even care about going under and most likely running out of air.

“I´d say, that it really is a combination of everything, doc. Sports, the job, my friends, feeling safe with the basic therapy my neurologist provides and your therapy.” Sara smiled.

“What exactly changed for you, Miss Lance?” Ava had difficulties concentrating.

“I need a schedule for everything, every day. I need to plan things. It became difficult for me to be spontaneous, because of the stress that´s coming along with it. On weekdays I usually get up early. I take a shower and after that I have breakfast and a coffee. I get ready, drive to work, and try to not to spend all of “she made air quotes “my spoons.” After work I go to the gym, or meet friends or just try to calm a little.” Sara said becoming a little sad while talking.  
“What do you mean, spoons?” Ava absolutely didn´t know what her Patient was talking about.

“People with autoimmune diseases like MS, say it as a metaphor. For example, you are perfectly healthy right?” Sara asked.  
“Yes, I think so.” Ava smiled.  
“It is perfectly normal for you to be able to do anything you want in one day, isn´t it? Sara noticed that the doctor didn´t know what Sara wanted to tell her.  
Ava nodded her head in affirmative.  
“Okay, to understand what I´m getting at, you need to imagine that all you have to spend for the day are twelve spoons. Everything you do takes one or even two spoons for you to spend. You have to get up in the morning, that´s okay but maybe you did not sleep well or maybe you didn´t sleep at all, so you have to spend one spoon. Now you only have eleven more to spend and you didn´t even start your day, yet. And as the day goes on and on you have to spend more of those spoons and you have to take care not to run out of them, because you never know when the day comes that you need spoons in reserve.” Sara watched her therapist intently, waiting for a reaction. But she didn´t get one.

“That sounds difficult, Miss Lance. Time´s nearly up. One last question. What do you feel on those days you nearly spent all those spoons?” Ava asked her expression was unreadable.  
“I think I`ll get used to it. Sometimes I feel like a grandma, when others my age can do whatever they want whenever they want, but I have to accept that this is no longer possible for me and it´s more difficult than I thought it would be. Some days I´m on the verge on freaking out, saying that I don´t want to take my medicine anymore and I ask myself what´s the point of all this. My drugs have severe side effects and sometimes they seem to be worse than the thought of giving up becoming disabled or just dying early.” Sara noticed.

Ava was alarmed by Sara’s words. Sara severely felt like death would be a better option than fighting. This really was an issue she should discuss with her patient. “Do I need to worry, Miss Lance?”  
“No, you don´t need to worry. Sometimes it is just hart and I get these mental breakdowns or whatever you might want to call that. It only lasts for a few hours until I’m finished crying and bugging my friends with it.” Sara laughed.

“Okay Miss Lance, I believe you. I´ll see you in two weeks and remember, that in cases of emergency you still have my phone number.” Ava opened the door for Sara once again.

“I know doctor Sharpe. Have a nice vacation, wherever you might spend it.” Sara reached out in order to shake her doctors’ hand and Ava took it. They looked each other in the eyes and Ava should notice that the handshake lasted way too long but all she did was telling Sara that she will spend her vacation at home.


	3. Chapter 3

Nora was still at work, when Ava came home.  
She made coffee and while the coffee machine was brewing, she went to her room, changing into boyfriend jeans and a black V-neck shirt. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down to work on her computer. Running her own doctor’s office also means doing paperwork.  
Ava always thought she was a person that did not let anything get to her, but in Sara Lance´s case, it was a completely different story.  
After a few hours Nora came in and told Ava about Ray who asked her to go on a date.   
“That engineer that works with you?”   
“Yep, he asked me today. He asked me to have dinner tomorrow and I´m thrilled.” Nora was smiling from one ear to the other.  
“I´m happy for you, Nora.” Ava hugged her best friend.  
“Don´t celebrate too early.”   
“Good luck.”  
“Thank you, Ava, so what are you going to do tonight?” Nora kept herself busy with opening a bottle of wine.  
“I think I´ll need to do paperwork, I feel like I procrastinated for the last 4 weeks.” Ava sighed.  
“No! Ava, you won´t work tonight, try for once to let loose and stop ruining your vacation, there will still be time for this later.” Nora filled a glass of wine and put in front of her best friend.  
Ava didn´t even need to think about whether she wanted to work or spend time with Nora. She grabbed the glass and joined her friend on the couch.

Nora put on some music. “is Franc Moody okay?”  
Ava nodded.  
“Perfect.” Nora said “How was your day Ava?”  
“It was okay. That cute barista I get my coffee from every morning wrote her number on my cup.” Ava smiled.  
“Oh, are you going to call her or something?” Nora downed the rest of the wine in her glass and refilled it.  
“No, absolutely not. I think she´s cute, but she´s too young.”  
“What do you mean too young? As long as she´s not underage it´s okay. Go with it. Take what you can get, girl! When´s the last time you had sex, Ava?” Nora couldn´t believe that her best friend was distancing herself from any kind of date all the time.

“It´s not that long ago, Nora.” Ava shook her head no and also refilled her glass. If Nora planned on keeping up talking about Ava´s sex life, she really needed a few more drinks.  
“Not long ago my ass, Sharpe! I think it was right before the dinosaurs got extinct.” Nora pulled one eyebrow up watching Ava.  
“Haha Nora, could you please stop and talk about something different?”  
“What do you want to talk about? Is it that patient of yours again?” Nora was tempted to roll her eyes.  
“Yes.” Ava opened a new bottle of wine and poured herself and Nora their third glass.  
“What is it this time?”  
“I think as my best friend you´re well aware that being a psychiatrist was the best choice I ever made, because I can handle things and don´t let them get close to me. But I´m not so sure anymore, Nora.” Ava sounded somewhat concerned.  
“Why do you think that?”  
“Every time Miss Lance was in my office for her therapy, I feel awful. I´m worried about her on another level than I´m worried about my other patients. I always feel like I want to hug her when she tells me how she feels.”  
Nora just listened to her friend and said nothing.  
“I know I shouldn´t tell you, but today she said that sometimes she thinks that it is worse to get her injections, than to become disabled or dying early of complications.  
I just… I can´t even imagine what that must feel like, but I want to help her so badly, Nora.” Ava had watery eyes thinking about the emotional pain Sara might be going through.  
“Ava, it´s your job to help people. But all I can tell you is that she is still your patient and your patient only. You provide her therapy and that´s all you should help her with and by the way, it´s all you´re allowed to help her with. Do you want a refill?” Nora said with the bottle in her hand and Ava nodded silently.

Sara went into her garage right after her therapy session. She was excited if the longboard deck she glued and pressed together a few days ago, turned out good.  
After she detached the press from the deck she examined the board, she was pleased to see that she could begin with grinding.  
She worked on her board for a few hours drifting into daydreams. She thought about her day and her therapy session and she was surprised when Ava appeared behind her, but didn´t show her that she noticed.  
“Do you need help?”  
Sara shook her head no and when the voice behind her asked her if she thought it was a good idea grinding wood with numb fingers, she turned around and realized it was Zari and not Ava who was talking to her.  
She asked herself if she was hallucinating from her drugs.  
“When they´re off, I probably won´t notice anyway, Z.” Sara laughed.  
Zari laughed along with Sara  
“You´re an Idiot.”  
“What are you doing here anyway?” Sara asked her best friend.  
“I wanted to check on you and maybe you would like to spend the evening with me, watching movies or going to a bar or doing whatever you like.”  
“Sure, but let me take a shower first.”  
“Did you take your medicine, yet?” Zari asked and Sara cringed.  
“Would you believe me if I said yes?” Sara asked without turning around.  
“No! Let´s go take a shower and then you´ll take it.”   
“Z….”  
“No Sara. If you won´t inject it yourself. I will do it.”  
“Okay...” Sara said knowing that a discussion wouldn´t make any sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since tomorrow is the World Multiple Sclerosis Day, I thought I could post this Chapter now.  
> I hope you guys have a great day.
> 
> Stay safe  
> L


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on Sara, let´s go.” Zari called unnerved.  
> “I don´t know, Z. What happens when I get nauseous or dizzy again?” Sara stood next to Zari`s car, her wakeboard bag in hand.  
> “You came this far. We´re already here. Just try not to think too much. Nate and Ray will be here soon.” Zari tried to encourage her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had a crazy week.  
> I think that maybe you had to read a little too much serious chapters, so prepare for a lighter chapter. It was fun writing it and I hope you enjoy reading. I´m looking forward to critisism and any comments. Have a nice day and stay safe guys

She rose higher and higher, 1 meter, 2, and then about 3 meters. Halfway in the air she lost her balance and crashed into the water with an incredible force.   
“Ouch, I think that hurt.” Nora told Gary, who laughed because it looked so funny how Ava crashed into the water.  
“Stop laughing you Asses.” Ava shouted climbing out of the lake.  
“It´s not our fault if you can´t ride that wakeboard.” Nora stated.  
“You could try, instead of drinking wine the whole day.” Ava grabbed the towel Gary was holding for her.  
“First, it´s Saturday and I´m off work and second I definitely won´t make a fool of myself.” Nora grinned.   
“I´m starving.” Gary got up from the ground. “Is anyone else hungry?”  
“yeah, me too.” Ava and Nora answered and Gary asked them what they´d like to eat, so he could go to the restaurant near the lake and order their food.  
Meanwhile Ava took a break in the sand next to Nora.

“Come on Sara, let´s go.” Zari called unnerved.  
“I don´t know, Z. What happens when I get nauseous or dizzy again?” Sara stood next to Zari`s car, her wakeboard bag in hand.  
“You came this far. We´re already here. Just try not to think too much. Nate and Ray will be here soon.” Zari tried to encourage her best friend.  
“I feel like I want to talk to my therapist right now.” Sara started walking slowly to Zari, as if she hoped she could delay, to try wakeboarding.  
“you got this Sara. Think about how proud you will be, when you tell her that you put your anxiety aside.” Zari cheered looking over the lakeside, in order to find the others or a place where they can sit down. That´s when she saw someone. “Or maybe you can show it yourself?”  
“What?” Sara asked ripped out of her thoughts.  
“Over there, isn´t that Dr. Sharpe?” Zari smiled.  
Sara spotted the blonde siting on the sand with two other people, laughing and eating. She looked beautiful with her damp hair and her wetsuit peeled down to her waist. “Oh shit, can we please go?”  
“No, come on we´ll sit over there.” Zari pointed to the only free spot on the beach and if there was someone who wanted to bug Sara, the spot was pretty near to Ava and her friends.  
“Wow Sara she really is hot.” Zari laughed when Sara looked as if she wanted to punch Zari.  
They sat down and Sara tried to ignore that her therapist sat not even 10 meters away from her. 

“I guess she´s into sports, did you see her abs?” Zari eyed Sara´s therapist.  
“Could you please stop, Z?” Sara rolled her eyes knowing pretty well what abs Zari was talking about.  
“Hey guys!” Nate shouted across the whole area waving his hands at Sara and Zari.  
Zari and Sara waved back.

“Is that Ray?” Ava asked   
“Where?” Nora immediately looked around and when her eyes landed on him they went wide. “What is he doing here?”  
“I don´t know Nora.” Ava answered and Gary just said “Maybe you should go and say hi.”  
“No absolutely not.” Nora turned back around towards Ava.

“It´s about time you show up, guys.”   
Ava shot around, knowing the voice well.   
“Oh no.” Ava put her hands in front of her face.  
“What?” Gary and Nora asked in unison.   
“That blonde, who just hollered back at Ray and his friend it´s Sara.” Nora and Gary exchanged confused looks. “Sara, my patient, that girl who has MS?” She stated.  
“Ahhh, she doesn´t look sick.” Nora said.  
“Most People with MS don´t look sick. By the way, she´s pretty.”  
“Stop it Gary!” Nora snapped.  
Ray noticed Nora “Oh it´s good to see you.” Someone who knew him like Sara could easily see that he became nervous.  
“Hey Ray, what are you doing here?” Nora blurted out.  
“I´m meeting my friends, these are Sara, Nate and Zari, guys, say hi.” He answered.  
“Hey.” The group waved them hello.  
“Would you like to sit with us?” Ray asked.  
Nora eyed her friends end even though she was concerned about Ava and her relationship with her patient, she really wanted to spend time with Ray, so she agreed and told her friends to sit with Ray, Nate and their friends.  
Sara couldn´t believe what Ray just did.  
Sure, she would´ve liked to talk to her therapist about half an hour earlier, but this wasn´t the time nor the place to talk to Dr. Sharpe about things that bugged her, especially not with Ava in a bikini top and her wetsuit pulled down to her waist and with abs full on display.  
To get out of this situation she opened her bag put on the shoes for her wakeboard bindings on which she was very proud of by the way, because she could just pull her feet out of the plastic straps of her board in case she fell and could still walk comfortably in those shoes. She got up and grabbed her board.  
“See you guys.” Sara mumbled and stormed of.  
She was scared as hell, but she really didn´t want to be around her therapist right now.

Nora was curious “How do you know Sara and Zari?”  
“We went to school together.” Ray answered honestly. “We have known each other for 17 years now and have been best of friends ever since. Nate on the other hand came here from Central City when he started to go to college and since we were roommates back then we became also best friends.”  
“Cool,” Nora said.   
“Since Ray goes on and on about Nora, I know they work together, but what about you two?” Nate asked Ava and Gary.  
“I´m an Orthodontist. I think it´s much cooler than just being a dentist.” Gary said.  
“I´m a psychiatrist and you?” Ava wasn´t really interested, but asked Nate for Nora’s sake.  
“I´m a History teacher.” Nate answered enthusiastically.  
A loud splash stole Ava´s attention from Nate, because Ava couldn´t do any other than watching who crashed into the water. It was Sara. Even though Ava was off duty, she was worried that the crash could discourage Sara. Sara was a woman who always seemed like nothing could get to her, like nothing could break her and she also talked to someone like she was the strongest person on earth. Ava knew better. She knew that one of Sara´s weaknesses was that she wasn´t able to open herself up to someone, even if she tried. All the conversations about her job and things she was comfortable with were necessary in order to get Sara to open up and really talk about her problems.  
“Fuck!” Sara shouted climbing out of the lake just to try again. She stormed off to the start. Lay her board on top of the little starting bench and stepped into the binding. She grabbed a rope and readied herself for the hook to catch the rope sending her into movement again.  
3,2,1 she jumped and was pulled onto the water again.  
This was the reason she loved wakeboarding. The speed, the wind in her hair and the sound of the water splashing against the underside of the board. She rode 2 laps until she decided to try her trick again.   
She steered towards the ramp and when she jumped she lay backwards for a backflip and finally landed it.

Ava, who watched Sara said “Wow, she´s really good.” She was mesmerized. 

“Yeah, she is.” Zari grinned. “Ava, isn´t it?”  
“Yes, or doctor Sharpe, but I think under these circumstances it´s Ava.” She really needed to force herself not looking at Sara all the time.  
“Right.” Zari said “would you and your friends like to go karting with us next weekend?”   
“I have to ask them later, so maybe we´ll go with you.” Ava answered a little uncomfortable. She knew that she shouldn´t even sit here with her patient and her friends.  
She continued talking to Zari and watched Sara riding her board.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> „Ey du wickelst mich so leicht um deinen Finger  
> Wenn du durch deine blauen Augen guckst wie immer  
> Ich bin hypnotisiert, wenn du vorbei spazierst  
> Das wird jeden Tag ein kleines bisschen schlimmer"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I definitely had too much time today, so is a new chapter for you to enjoy.  
> Stay safe

This was one of the best days Sara had since she was diagnosed 5 months ago. She felt good. She wasn´t nauseous, she wasn´t in pain and there wasn´t any numbness in her limbs and if the day couldn´t get any better she didn´t need an injection that day. She cleaned and danced around in her apartment, music blaring out of the speakers. She started to sing along Mark Forster´s Flash mich.  
„Doch bist du nur fünf Minuten mal weg  
Ist das wie zehn Jahre Knast für mich“ she turned around dancing and singing along.  
„Ey du wickelst mich so leicht um deinen Finger  
Wenn du durch deine blauen Augen guckst wie immer  
Ich bin hypnotisiert, wenn du vorbei spazierst  
Das wird jeden Tag ein kleines bisschen schlimmer"  
She turned again and went silent when she saw Zari standing in her doorway to the hall.  
“No wonder, you didn´t hear the doorbell. I was ringing for about 5 minutes straight.” Zari laughed while Sara turned down the volume.  
“I´m sorry Z, I feel so good today, so I had to go with it. By the way, you´re early.” Sara went to the kitchen in order to make them coffee.  
“Yeah I was bored, so I thought I could try and look how long your doorbell lasts while permanently stressed.”   
Sara stuck her tongue out at Zari.  
They sat down drinking their coffee and starting to play playstation for a while until Zari mentioned that she asked Ava if she and her friends wanted to go karting with them. The answer came immediately.

“You did whhat?!” Sara nearly spit her coffee across the whole table.  
“I asked her if they would like to come with us, is there a problem with that?” Zari sipped at her coffee innocently.  
“Zari you know damn well that there is a problem with that! She´s my therapist, not my friend or something like that. We just have a strictly professional relationship with each other and that´s all.” Sara fumed.  
“Yeah, that´s the reason she couldn´t tear her eyes from you all the time.” Zari said sarcastically.  
“Are you delusional? She probably was in thought, because she shouldn´t spend time with me in her free time.” Sara was unnerved once again.  
“Sure. What should we do today?” Zari asked her best friend.

“How was your date yesterday?” Ava asked Nora while they cooked together.  
“It was… well, he is a nerd and maybe he becomes nervous pretty fast. So, it was a little awkward at first, but when I told him there was no need to get nervous he became a little more confident. After a few minutes it really was amusing and I really enjoyed the night.” Nora answered.  
“will you have another date?” Ava was happy for her best friend.  
The week went on pretty uneventful for Ava, since all of her friends had to work, the only thing she did was procrastinating. She watched Netflix the whole day or tried new cooking recipes she found online and had Nora and Gary try them in the evening. Even her morning routine with sports in the morning, drinking her protein shake and taking a shower after, was long forgotten.  
The next weekend came around pretty fast and so Ava found herself at the kart track waiting for Gary, Nora, Nate, Ray, Zari and Sara.   
Sara was the first to arrive. Her helmet in hand Ava became a little nervous, because she wasn´t sure how to act towards Sara outside of her office.   
“Hey doc, how are you? Zari called a few minutes ago, they´re in a traffic jam she thinks they´ll arrive in about 30 minutes.” Sara smiled and once again tried to not show her slight insecurity.  
“Hello Sara, I think there is no need for you to call me doctor here. I´m off duty and we´re not about to have a therapy session until my vacation is over. You can call me Ava.” The moment those words left her mouth, Ava facepalmed herself internally.   
“Would you like to go get a coffee upstairs?” Sara asked.  
“Sure, why not?”  
They ordered their coffee and sat in a booth. Neither said a word.  
“This is awkward” Ava stated.  
“A little.” Sara answered and went silent again. After 5 minutes she continued “Ava?”  
“Mh?” Ava looked at her.  
“Can we just forget that I´m your patient for one day and act like we are two normal people, spending time with each other and their friends?”  
After a short pause Ava answered “Sure let´s try. What would you like to talk about?”  
“You.” Sara blurted out.  
Ava lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”  
“Because every time we talked it was all about me and now I would like to get to know you better.” Sara smiled.  
“Okay, what do you want to know?” Ava wasn´t completely comfortable with Sara asking her questions about her life.  
“Do you have a pet? Do you have a boyfriend? What are your hobbies?” Sara asked them all at once. She was curious, what she might find behind Ava´s cool and collected façade.   
“I don´t have a pet, but when I grew up I had a cat called Dexter. He was a handful. He always tried to jump into the bathtub, while I was taking a bath. One day I watched a movie with a friend and Dexter saw himself in the mirror. I don´t know why, but he took off and jumped against his image in the mirror and as if that wasn´t enough, the mirror detached from the wall and fell to the ground. Of course, he was scared and long gone when the mirror crashed. My mom was furious.” Ava laughed thinking back to that day.   
“I wish I could´ve met that cat, he sounds cool.” Sara grinned.  
“Yeah he was.”   
“What about that boyfriend?” Sara asked.  
“I´m not really the boyfriend kind.” Ava took a sip of her coffee.   
Sara didn´t expect Ava to be a lesbian, but somehow, she was happy about it.  
“Guys, we were looking for you.” Nate who were followed by the whole group shouted. “come on let´s race!”  
Ava and Sara drank the remains of their coffee and went to the others. They paid for the hour they were renting the whole track and went to their grids.  
Sara put on her helmet and hid her ponytail in the back of her shirt, so her hair couldn´t tangle with parts of the engine. The route employee started the engine and Sara felt its vibrations. It smelled like gasoline and the aggressive hum of the kart was clearly audible through her helmet. She came here often with her best friend Mick, before he started to study abroad.  
They were set to start and everyone drove slowly in order to heat up the engines and tires.  
Sara was the first in line and next to her was Ava. They waited at the finish line for the light turn green and they could start their race. Nate shouted that he will end in first place and that no one of the group would drive as good as he did. Sara shouted back “Sure, you will be first if you read the table upside down.”   
“Just like you, Sara.” Ava said watching her and from the wrinkles around her eyes, Sara could see Ava was smiling.   
Sara rose an eyebrow and said “We´ll see.” Ava and Sara were distracted staring each other down and when the light turned green everyone else took off, leaving them behind.  
“For fucks sake, Sharpe.” Sara screamed when Ava managed to take off before Sara even got a chance to do so. Sara had no idea that Ava could be competitive, but as they tracked each other down overtaking one another in nearly every corner in order to catch up with Ray, who was next in line, Sara decided she kind of liked the competitive part of Ava.  
They managed to overtake Ray, Gary and Nora. Both of them were surprised when they found Zari and Nate battling for first place. `He really seems to be good at this` Sara thought to herself and it was pretty clear that Ava would take her chance when Sara was distracted, so Ava positioned herself in front of Sara chasing Zari.   
For two laps she felt like she could try anything she wanted but she really couldn´t get to Ava, she was really fast. But Sara noticed Ava struggled getting away from her and leave Zari behind. This encouraged her and she went full speed not even caring that the tires also had a limit. She accelerated early in order to catch Ava and Zari right at the hairpin curve. The perks of driving behind an opponent were that you could easily see their mistakes and struggles. Ava and Zari didn´t find the ideal line to pass the curve, so when they were already breaking, Sara still was on full speed steering to the outside of the curve, breaking and taking a sharp turn right, accelerating on the vertex of the curve. She managed to overtake them both and then tried to hunt Nate down.   
Ava and Zari became faster and faster after they saw the line Sara was driving, so that in the final lap all four of them were pretty near Sara overtook Nate who slowed down, because he oversteered and his kart started drifting. Zari and Sara laughed and as if she didn´t learn anything before, Ava managed to sneak right in front of her again. “Ey, get back here!” Sara shouted, even though Ava couldn´t even hear her because of the noise around them. Sara didn´t want to lose, especially not to Ava, so she started to drive reckless again, to no avail. The only thing she managed to do was to lose grip sending her kart to slide into Ava´s kart and even though they slid over the finish line in second and third place, Zari was the happy winner, Ava couldn´t even be mad. Only was she worried if Sara was okay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I still don´t want you to move.” Sara laughed pulling Ava on top of her.  
> Sara put her hands on both of Avas cheeks and kissed her sweetly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys,   
> I´ll try to update as often as possible, even though this week will be busy.  
> I recently reread the chapters finding some mistakes and I am really sorry for all of them.  
> Let me know what you think.   
> Have a nice day and stay safe

Sara climbed out of her kart after parking laughing.  
“I´m sorry Ava, I hope you´re okay.”  
“I´m okay, I was worried about you though.” Ava felt relieved.

On Monday, two days after their kart race Sara woke up with a numb feeling on the left side of her nose, forehead and on the left side of the roof of her mouth. She went to see her neurologist immediately.   
She knew that he couldn´t help her without an MRI scan and so doctor Hunter arranged an emergency appointment for the next day.

“Do you need a sedative Miss Lance?” the doctor asked.  
“Yes, please. I tend to panic in narrow places.” This was her second MRI scan and even though she knew, that nothing bad was going to happen, Sara still felt sick, thinking about lying on that MRI table.  
She felt the coldness of the contrast agent and the sedative that had been injected into her veins.  
“Is everything okay, Miss?” the doctor asked and Sara who realized the sedative already kicked in answered smiling “Yes, I´m okay, Ava.”  
“Well I don´t know who Ava is, but I see the sedative works already. Let´s start then.” The doctor left the room. As soon as he closed the door behind him, Sara and the table have been pulled into the tube.  
She closed her eyes feeling a warm summer breeze on her skin. A soft beat hummed through the air coming from a little beach bar near Sara.  
The music mixed with the sound of waves hitting the sand she felt someone laying in the sand next to her. “Is everything okay, Babe?”  
Avas soft voice felt like music to her ears.  
“Yes, why do you ask?” Sara kept her eyes closed when she felt Ava moving towards her and putting her head on Saras chest.   
“I want you to feel good, Sara. I know that you can´t be in direct sunlight for too long without developing symptoms.”  
“You´re cute, Babe.” Sara kissed Ava on her forehead. “I´m okay, but maybe I should put up the umbrella soon. I don´t want you to move though.”  
“I got this.” Ava answered immediately and tried to get up, when Sara grabbed her wrist and pulled Ava back down.  
“Hey, what are you doing?” Ava squeaked.  
“I still don´t want you to move.” Sara laughed pulling Ava on top of her.  
Sara put her hands on both of Avas cheeks and kissed her sweetly. Ava positioned her hands on either side of Saras head and bit Sara´s bottom lip. Sara sighed into the kiss and started squirming underneath Ava, who started kissing her again. Sara parted her lips for Ava´s tongue to enter, but Ava raised her head saying “We´re done Miss Lance, you´re free to go.”   
Sara opened her eyes and the table started to move out of the tube `Wow, I´m high.” Sara thought.  
“Is there someone, who can help you getting home?” The doctor asked   
“Yes, my dad came here with me. He will take me to my neurologist and home thereafter.” Sara slurred a little.  
“Okay, have a nice day, then.” The doctor smiled.  
Quentin helped his daughter climbing up the stairs, in order to get to Sara´s neurologist. They sat down in the waiting area.   
“Sweetheart, are you okay? How do you feel?” Quentin asked.  
“Still high and unfortunately my mouth and the left side of my forehead and nose are still numb.” Sara answered and looked at her dad.   
He hugged his daughter “Everything will be fine, Sara, you will be fine.”  
“Thank you for being here for me dad, I couldn´t do this alone.”  
“Every time.” Quentin tried not to, but his smile showed a trace of pity.  
“Miss Lance?” Doctor Hunter asked and when he found Sara he asked her and Quentin to follow him to his room.  
“Miss Lance, I´ve examined your MRI scans and I´m sorry, that I have to tell you, that your numbness is once again an episode. It´s up to you if you want a cortisone treatment Since there are only false sensations and numbness and no paralysis, your episode is not dangerous. I have to remind you though, that if you decide to not getting the treatment the symptoms may stay as they are and may not form back to as they were before you had that episode.” Doctor Hunter told her and Sara felt an awful amount of self-pity. “Here we go again.” She said more to herself than anyone else.  
She definitely had the desire to talk to Ava now, but she didn´t want to disturb her on vacation.  
“Let´s start the treatment.” She said monotone. She really didn´t want to live with half of her face numb, for the rest of her life.  
“Okay, I think that you won´t need to stay in the hospital you can come here every day, bring your computer or something to read. You´re infusion will take 6 to 8 hours every day and after you´re free to go home.” Doctor Hunter explained.  
“Ok, when do we start?” Sara asked.  
“Now.” He told her getting the cortisone shot ready.  
“Dad, will you stay?”  
“Sure, do you need anything?” He asked his daughter.   
“A salad bowl would be great.” Sara answered and Quentin left.

When she lay on that cot, she took her mobile from her bag and opened Whatsapp  
Sara: Zari, I have another episode right now.  
Zari: Where are you?  
Sara: Neurologist.  
Zari: I´ll be there in 10 minutes.  
Sara: Thank you.

Sara put her phone aside and thought about her dream she had in the MRI. She still had the feeling of Ava´s teeth biting on her lower lip even though it hasn´t been real. Could there really be something between them? Kissing and holding Ava in her dream felt so good and right, it was frightening. Sure, they already have spent time in their free time, but kissing her and calling her “babe” like they were in a relationship was definitely not something she should go for.  
Pushing the thought away she continued thinking about Ava´s lips on hers.

Someone knocked on the door pulling Sara out of her daydream.  
“Sara? Can I come in?”  
“Sure, Z, come in.”  
Zari opened the door and looked at the needle sticking in Sara´s arm. “I´ll never get used to this, even though they gave you a band aid.” Zari pointed at Sara´s arm.  
“I´m sorry Z. Thank you for coming.” Sara was grateful for her best friend being there.  
“How do you feel?”  
“How am I supposed to feel, Z? This is the second episode within 6 Months…” Sara became a little sad.  
“You got this Sara, you´re the most badass woman I know.” Zari tried to encourage her but Sara didn´t answer.  
“Do you want me to call Ava?” Zari asked carefully.  
“I don´t know Zari, she´s on vacation and I don´t want to bug her.” Sara said.  
“I don´t think that there will ever be a day you could bug her, Sara.” Zari laughed and Sara looked at her confused.  
“You don´t need to look at me like an idiot, didn´t you see the way she looks at you? She cares for you more than she should care for any patient, at least that´s what Nora told me on Saturday.” Zari smiled.  
“Okay, but what should I say?” Sara asked.  
“Nervous?” Zari grinned.  
“Maybe a little” Sara mumbled and looked out of the window.  
“Is there anything you didn´t tell me? You know I´m your best friend and I would be very offended if you kept something from me,” Zari smiled again watching Sara for any kind of reaction.  
Sara told Zari about the dream she had on the MRI. Zari´s smile grew bigger and bigger, until Quentin knocked on the door, food in hand.   
“Oh, Zari, it´s nice to see you. I didn´t know you were coming otherwise I would have gotten you something to eat, too.” Quentin said putting the bowl of Salad and a ciabatta on the table.  
“Don´t worry, dad I can share.” Sara smiled “Thank you.”  
Quentin felt like he interrupted a minor conversation and asked his daughter if he could leave and if Zari was staying and helping Sara home. When Zari assured him to help Sara he kissed his daughter´s forehead goodbye and left.   
“So, will you tell Ava already?” Zari asked and Sara nodded and unlocked her phone.

Sara: Ava, I´m sorry, I have to bug you on vacation, but I somehow need your emotional support right now. I´m at my neurologist’s office and I´m getting a cortisone shot. I have an episode.   
Ava: Oh no, Sara. I´m so sorry. How may I help? Do you want me to come to your doctor´s office?  
Sara: No, but could you come over tonight?   
Ava: Sure, do you want me to pick you up?  
Sara: No, thanks, Zari is with me.   
Ava: Call me if you need something.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can I leave you alone now?” Zari asked concerned.   
> “Yes, thank you Zari. Tell Charlie I said `hi´.” Sara smiled and when Zari hugged her goodbye and left, she dialed Ava´s number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh guys,   
> the week was really crazy and I'm glad it's over for now.  
> I still feel a bit dizzy and so far I haven't been able to continue writing much, but as promised, here is the new chapter.  
> Let me know what you think and have a nice day.  
> Stay safe.

“Can I leave you alone now?” Zari asked concerned.   
“Yes, thank you Zari. Tell Charlie I said `hi´.” Sara smiled and when Zari hugged her goodbye and left, she dialed Ava´s number.  
“Hey Sara, how are you?” Ava asked genuinely.  
“I´m okay. I´m home now, would you like to come over?”   
“Do you want me to come over as your therapist, or as your friend?” Ava was still a little concerned where this might go.  
“As my friend, please.” Sara answered.  
“Okay, do you need anything?” Ava asked  
“Depends on you. I don´t drink alcohol, but you´re free to do so if you like. Could you bring chocolate?” Sara didn´t want to ask too much.  
“Sure, anything else? Did you eat already?” Ava sounded so sweet to Sara.  
“No thank you, I haven´t eaten yet, besides the salad I shared with Zari for lunch. I will cook, when you´re here.” Sara smiled  
“No, you won´t.” Ava stated “I don´t want you to cook for me while being on cortisone, I will cook.”  
“We´ll see.” Sara knew there was no point in arguing with Ava.  
“Okay I will be there in about an hour.” Ava said goodbye then and hung up.  
Sara felt like she definitely needed to take a shower, so she went to her bathroom.  
After taking a shower she busied herself with tidying up a little and brewing a cup of fennel tea. She sat down and started watching some trash TV show she wasn´t even interested in while she waited for Ava.

Ava was in the parking lot of the grocery store when her phone rang.

“Ava Sharpe, what can I do for you?” she answered her phone.  
“Hey Ava, it´s Zari. I thought I should tell you that I´m worried for Sara. She´s closing off again, drowning in self-pity. She doesn´t show anything but I know what´s going on inside of her.” Zari told Ava in a serious tone.  
“That´s what I thought Zari, I´m on my way to her. Don´t worry I´ll talk to her.” Ava smiled.  
“Thank you. Call or text me, I know Sara won´t.”  
“I will. Bye Zari.” Ava hung up and sat behind the wheel, leaving the parking lot.

The doorbell rang and Sara got up from her couch to open the door.  
“Hey, it´s Ava I´m here.” Ava´s voice rang through the intercom and Sara pressed to button to unlock the door in order to let Ava in.  
“Hey.” Sara smiled her numbness long forgotten when she spotted that beautiful blonde climbing up the stairs.  
“Hey Sara, it´s good to see you.” Ava came to a halt in front of Sara, putting the shopping bags on the floor and gave Sara a warm hug.   
The hug lasted way too long, not that anyone cared though. When Ava tried to let go Sara still clanged to her. Ava understood immediately. She lay her hands around Sara´s waist again and hugged her tightly. After a few moments she whispered in Sara´s ear soothingly “Sara, everything will be all right.” Sara´s ragged breathing showed her that her attempt to soothe Sara didn´t work. Sara cried mumbling “Nothing is going to be all right Ava… What do I take my medicine for? I was doing good, everything seemed to fall into place and then this shit happened once again.”  
“Shhhh, I promise Sara everything will be okay.” Ava stroked Sara´s head reassuringly. Sara calmed down a little and while they were standing there, Ava forgot that she was Sara´s therapist for a short moment and kissed Sara´s temple and to her surprise she felt Sara relax, leaning her head into Ava´s lips. After a short while she led Sara to the couch and told her to sit down. She retrieved the bags and closed the door.  
“I´m sorry.” Ava said standing in front of Sara.  
“What are you sorry for?” Sara asked lifting her head and looking at Ava, whose inner conflict was clearly visible on her face.  
“I shouldn´t have done that. I´m your therapist after all and I really am sorry for kissing your temple. I shouldn´t have been taking advantage of your vulnerability.” Ava said honestly, but still Sara could´ve sworn Ava enjoyed the intimacy of the moment two minutes ago.  
“Don´t be. It´s okay and if you want me to be honest, it really felt good.” Sara couldn´t prevent her cheeks form turning slightly red.  
Ava didn´t answer but smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Are you hungry?”   
“Yes, but I´ll cook.” Sara said already moving to the kitchen.  
“No, the only thing you´re allowed to do is to watch and learn.” Ava winked passing Sara, grocery bags in hand.

Ava unpacked the bags, putting the groceries on the countertop.  
“Looks good,” Sara examined the food Ava unpacked “what did you plan to cook?”  
“Steak, white asparagus and rosemary potatoes from the oven.” Ava smiled and Sara´s eyes went wide from excitement. “Steak? I didn´t eat steak since I got my diagnosis.”   
Ava was happy, that Sara became so excited, just because Ava was cooking steak for her. “How do you like your steak, Sara?”  
“Nearly raw.” Sara grinned.  
“Are you serious?” Ava startled and Sara nodded.   
“Yes, on the outside it has to be dark and on the inside it has to be red, so a small part of the core is still raw.”  
“Okay then. I didn´t know I was feeding a predator.” Ava and Sara laughed in unison and Ava was relieved, that Sara´s mood seemed to light up a bit. Ava washed her hands and the potatoes and started to peel the asparagus. She cut the potatoes in half, when Sara asked her if Ava needed help.  
“You´re helping me, when you sit down and talk to me, Sara.” Ava pointed to the chair, knife in hand, looking at Sara.  
In that moment their eyes met.  
For the first time Sara realized that Ava´s eyes were a mix of blue and green. `Wow, they are beautiful” she thought. Ava seemed to think the same about Sara´s eyes, she stared into those azures in awe. She even stopped chopping the potatoes. They were just standing there losing themselves in each other’s eyes, until the water boiled over.  
“Crap, I´m sorry.” Ava averted her eyes first and lifted the pot from the stove.  
“It´s okay, relax.” She smiled and handed Ava a towel, touching her shoulder gently and telling her that it was ok and mistakes happen sometimes. She felt she had to, because Ava continued mumbling something about, fucking something up again.   
Sara wasn´t quite sure why Ava was beating herself up. Either she was nervous or a highly sensitive perfectionist, but there was time to find out later.  
Ava has been cooking quietly, since she felt she was being watched. She tried to concentrate at the task at hand.  
“Do you need help now?” Sara broke the silence.  
“Could you get some plates out, please?” Ava smiled sweetly.  
`oh god, that smile is gorgeous. ` Sara thought, putting plates in front of Ava and pouring them glasses of water.  
“Do you cook often?” Sara asked, still unable to take her eyes off Ava “You really seem do know what you´re doing.”  
“Yes, I enjoy cooking. Whenever I find time to cook Nora and Gary have to endure my attempts.” Ava grinned and Sara was once again in awe. How could she not have seen before how beautiful Ava was. ´I wonder if she needed braces when she was a kid`  
They sat down at the table, when Ava was done cooking and started eating. “This is really good.” Sara said and Ava smiled saying that she was happy that Sara liked the food.

After cleaning Sara´s kitchen, they sat down on the couch.  
“What would you like to do?” Ava asked Sara.  
“I would like to listen to some music with you. Is that okay?”  
Ava nodded.  
Sara put on some music and sat on the couch cross-legged facing Ava.

“Your apartment is nice.” Ava noticed “Do you have a roommate?”  
“Thank you and no, I live on my own, but I gave my spare keys to Zari. What about you?” Sara emptied her glass of water.  
“I live with Nora.” Ava stated “When she broke up with her ex-boyfriend 3 years ago, she needed a place to stay and since she is my best friend I helped her out.”  
“3 years ago? Well you two seem to get along well then. For my part, I couldn't. I mean I love Zari, but we wouldn't last 3 weeks. She´s chaotic.” Sara laughed thinking about Zari´s bedroom, with laundry puzzled on the floor and old donut boxes scattered on her desk.

“That´s what I thought.” Ava laughed with Sara watching her intently.  
“Do you have any siblings?” Sara asked.  
“No, unfortunately not. I´m an only child. I would have loved to experience what it is like to have a brother or a sister, my parents were very supportive though.” Ava answered honestly “What about you?”  
“I had a twin sister.”  
“Oh I´m so sorry, Sara.” Ava was startled that she might have triggered something inside Sara.  
“Don´t be. I didn´t get to know her. When my mom was pregnant, the ultrasonic image clearly showed that she was pregnant with twins. About 3 months in her pregnancy, my mom had mid-cycle-bleeding and after the bleeding I was the only one left in that picture.”  
Sara explained.  
“I´m still sorry, Sara.”

They talked for two hours straight and didn´t find an end.  
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” Sara asked cautiously.  
“Not yet, why do you ask?”   
“Would it be okay for you to accompany me to the doctor tomorrow?”  
“Sure. When do you want me to pick you up?”” Ava smiled.  
“Thank you, Ava. Would it be okay for you to pick me up around 7? I have to be there by 7:30. Sara enjoyed to be around Ava. That woman had a calming influence on her.   
“You´re welcome. What would you like to do after?”  
Sara grinned as she remembered her dream this morning. “We could go to the lake.”  
“Sure, why not?” Ava checked her watch and asked Sara if it would be okay if Ava left.  
Sara agreed and led her to the door.  
“Thank you for being here for me Ava. I know you´re on vacation and...”  
Ava interrupted her “There´s no need, Sara. I am here as a friend not your therapist.” Ava´s statement made Sara kiss Ava on her cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you bring a bathing suit?” Sara asked while they were walking along the forest like path, the lake was surrounded by.  
> “Sure, did you?” Ava smiled at Sara, who nearly ran into a tree, because she was distracted by the thought of Ava in a bikini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> this chapter got way out of hand and I think it´s the longest one I´ve written so far.  
> I´m really sorry for the measuring in kilometers and so on but I really don´t get the american measurements of 8 McNuggets per Longchicken times diabetes, just kidding, but guys seriously it´s complicated.  
> I hope you like the new chapter and thank you for sticking with me.  
> BTW, if anyone of you is a gamer and would like to play a match on PS4, contact me.  
> Stay safe

“Are you able to move?” Ava put her arm out to help Sara getting up.  
“Yes, I think so.” Sara answered after the doctor´s assistant pulled the needle out of her arm. “My legs are still a bit shaky, but I´m okay.” Sara got up and took Ava´s arm for support. What she didn´t tell Ava was, that Sara took Ava´s arm more for selfish reasons than for support. Since Ava had been so soft with her the night before, Sara felt the need to be close to Ava.  
The little nagging voice in the back of her head still told Sara that what she was doing was wrong. Good thing that voice could be ignored so easily, especially near Ava.  
Yes, the cortisone hit hard and yes, she felt like a wet washcloth that has been fired into the corner of the room, but Ava´s presence made it so much more bearable.

Ava opened the door of her car for Sara and when Ava sat down in the drivers’ seat, she saw Sara smirking.  
“I didn´t take you for a BMW driver. Especially not for someone who would drive one with a tuning kit installed.”  
“Everyone needs a hobby, Sara.” Ava winked.  
“How fast does it go?”  
“About 372 kilometers per hour.” When Ava saw Sara’s’ face, she knew Sara was up to something. She could tell from that stupid smile.  
“Can I drive?” Sara´s eyes sparkled and Ava had a hard time to reject Sara´s wish, but she had to. “Only over my dead body.”  
“Don´t give me ideas, Ava.” Sara laughed.  
“Do I have to put you in a mental institution?”  
Ava asked mockingly and Sara´s eyes went wide from shock “You wouldn´t dare.”  
“Don´t give me ideas, then.” Ava repeated Sara´s answer and winked, smiling sweetly.

“Did you bring a bathing suit?” Sara asked while they were walking along the forest like path, the lake was surrounded by.  
“Sure, did you?” Ava smiled at Sara, who nearly ran into a tree, because she was distracted by the thought of Ava in a bikini.  
“Hey, watch out!” Ava exclaimed, grabbing Sara´s arm, pulling her close.  
“Thank you.” Sara smiled and stayed close to Ava.  
They continued to walk in silence until they found a small spot near the water. They sat down in the sand. The place was beautiful. It felt like they were on a beach in the middle of a forest and even though it looked like it was about to rain soon, they didn´t need to worry about the weather, the trees would provide shelter.  
“I brought snacks and drinks.” Ava mentioned while stepping out of her jean shorts, that pooled around her ankles. Sara struggled not to stare, so she busied herself with pouring tea from the thermal jug into one of the cups Ava brought.  
“And once again I´m impressed by your organizational skills.”  
“Thank you.” Ava folded her shorts and shirt neatly. “Wow, it´s really humid, I think I´m going to cool off in the water, are you coming with me?” Sara looked up and saw a smiling Ava, who reached her hand out for Sara to take once again.  
`She´s so pretty` Sara thought, taking Ava´s hand and getting up. She stripped down to her bikini, while Ava waited for her.  
Sara took Ava´s hand in hers again and led her to the water and while she did that, she was careful not to walk too fast, because she didn´t want to let go of Ava´s hand so soon.  
Little did she know that Ava felt the same. Compared to the air, the water was really cold, so Ava let out a high pitched squeal, Sara didn´t know Ava was capable of doing. Sara could not stop laughing.  
“How did you manage the temperature falling into the water while wakeboarding?”  
I didn`t fall into the water.” Ava lied and Sara grinned “Nora told me otherwise.” Ava´s head turned red like a tomato “Shut up, Sara!”  
Ava let go of Sara´s hand and took off running into the water. It was cold but Ava suppressed another squeal, she wouldn´t give that satisfaction to Sara.  
Ava stood in the water, brushing her wet hair behind her ears and in that moment, Sara pounced, tackled Ava and dragging them under water.  
“Sara!” Ava screamed when they came back to the surface and because of that scream, Sara´s imagination developed a momentum of its own, once again.  
`How can someone be so gorgeous and still be single? Wait… Is Ava even single? Maybe I can find out` Sara thought, Ava´s job long forgotten.  
A cold splash of water hitting Sara´s face pulled her out of her thoughts.  
Ava started a fight that Sara would happily get involved in.  
They played for a while until Sara got cold and Ava suggested to get out of the water.

After a few minutes they were sitting close to each other wrapped up in towels and drinking tea.  
“How come you always know what I need?” Sara asked with her hands wrapped around her cup.  
“I don´t know. Most of the time I do what I think is best for me, so maybe it´s a coincidence? For example, the tea,” Ava tapped her cup with a finger “it´s fennel, my favorite by the way, with slices of ginger and turmeric.”  
“It´s really good. Why did you put ginger and turmeric in there, though?”  
“I used it because of you. It´s anti-inflammatory and good for you.” Ava´s soft smile was something Sara could never see enough of.  
“Thank you, you´re sweet.” Sara shivered.  
“Are you cold?” Ava started scrambling in her bag.  
“A little, the cortisone sucks. It´s warm today, but here I am freezing.” Ava could sense Sara becoming frustrated. She really liked her but god, that girl had some serious mood swings, sometimes.  
“That´s why I packed this.” Ava pulled a fluffy blanket out of her bag and wrapped it around Sara, who thanked her, frustration forgotten.

They sat there in silence taking in the view and enjoying nature. Sara was one of the few people Ava could enjoy silence with. Sometimes it scared her just how natural everything with Sara felt. It was frightening and Ava thought Nora was right. Nora told Ava not to do anything stupid, but now, near Sara, `stupid´ sounded like the best idea ever, even though her license was at stake.  
She already overstepped boundaries. The first one was intentionally meeting her patient off duty and the second one was even worse. Ava wasn´t allowed to share any kind of intimacy with a patient, but that´s what she did the night before.  
What would she do if Sara and her became closer, or kissed or even had sex? She couldn´t be her doctor anymore, then. But was all this worth it to risk Sara´s well-being or Ava´s career? She needed to make a decision, if anything happened between Ava and Sara, but there would be plenty of time for this once she got to talk to Nora and Gary.  
One thing Ava couldn´t deny was that Sara doing something to her, she could just not quite decipher if it was good or bad, yet. All she knew was, that she loved being near Sara.  
“So, you know what they say, right? Every psychologist will need a psychiatrist one day from listening to the problems of patients and every psychiatrist will need a rope someday. What about you? Do I have to worry about you, Ava?” Ava could tell Sara was somehow concerned.  
“No, Sara you don´t need to worry. It´s true, sometimes I hear pretty serious stuff from patients, but I didn´t get my humane medicine degree and my psychology and doctors degree for nothing. I never let anything get to me, at least until now. I have to admit, that I have one patient whose story, really gets to me.” Ava looked in Sara´s eyes.  
“Who is it?” Sara asked knowing that Ava was not allowed to tell names or talk about other patients in general.  
“You” Ava said cautiously.  
“Why?”  
“I care for you.”  
“That´s what you should do about patients.” Sara became curious. Was Ava as uncertain about this whole situation and what´s going on between them as Sara was?  
“With you it´s different.” Ava couldn´t look Sara in the eyes anymore.  
“Different how?” Sara´s curiosity was getting the better of her.  
“Let´s not talk about this, okay?” Ava became defensive, so much Sara could tell. Maybe there was another way to find out. “okay.” Sara watched the birds flying above the water without saying anything more.  
It started to rain and they could hear the calming sound of the drops falling onto the leaves of the trees.

“Ava?” Sara still watched the birds.  
“Yes?” Ava looked at Sara´s profile.  
“Thank you, for everything. I know that you´re risking your license. Thank you for being here for me, it really feels good to spend time with you.” Sara put her hand on top of Ava´s and to her surprise she felt Ava´s thumb caressing the back of Sara´s hand.  
“You´re welcome, Sara.” Ava said intertwining their fingers and when she saw Sara´s head turning in surprise and looking her in the eyes, she continued “Sara, you have no idea, how difficult this is. I risk my job and all, but at the same time I don´t care about all that, when I´m with you. I´ve never experienced something like this. I don´t know what´s going on, but I don´t know how I could be the doctor you need, when I´m the one who had nothing better to do than to overstep one boundary after the other.”  
After Ava finished her rant, she could hear Sara sighing right beside her “Don´t you think, that I would have said something, if I didn´t like you overstepping the so-called boundaries? It scares me too, Ava, but all I can think about the whole time is how beautiful you are or that you are beside Zari the person I feel the most comfortable with, or I lose myself into daydreams.”  
“What daydreams?” Ava asked curiously, their hands still entwined.  
“Never mind”  
“Oh, come on, tell me.” Ava smiled and Sara didn´t think that it was so hard to tell Ava.  
“When I was on the MRI, I had, like many other times, a daydream of you.”  
“And why is that a problem?”  
Ava was really astute, but at moments like this, when it came to herself, she had a caveman´s mind.  
“Oh, come on Ava! I dreamed about you being more than just my therapist or my friend.” Sara averted her eyes, knowing that this might not have been the best thing to say, even though she knew that honesty has always brought her the sincerest and the best reactions of other people.  
“Yeah, well, Sara, I did that, too.” Ava said a little ashamed, that her hormones got the better of her.  
“What should we do now?” Sara couldn´t hide her joy completely and after a short while Ava looked at her again, Nora and her roasting of `don´t do anything stupid, Ava` be dammed, she just said “Fuck it.” And grabbed Sara´s cheeks pulling her close. When they were only a few centimeters apart, Ava still had the patience to wait for any sign of permission of Sara.  
She didn´t have to wait for long. Sara looped her arms around Ava´s waist and pulled her as close as their position they were sitting in let them.  
Sara closed the distance between their lips until they touched delicately. The kiss was soft and cautious and both of them could feel fireworks wreaking havoc in in the pits of their stomachs. The kiss grew more demanding and Sara let herself fall onto her back, pulling Ava on top of her. Ava´s tongue parted Sara´s lips and Sara happily indulged. Thank god her tongue wasn´t numb.  
Sara couldn´t decide what was better, feeling Ava´s tongue on hers or feeling Ava´s abs on her belly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. For those of you, who really like the story: Sometimes I have these momentswhere the MS is going to my head and I feel the anxiety crashing down hard. During these times I´m not able to write, because I simply have other things in mind and even if I could write I wouldn´t because it would ruin the story.  
> I will continue writing this story, no matter what, it just may take a little longer.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and reading the story, this means so much.

Ava sat once again in her office. The patient opposite of her was rambling and crying and she needed to focus, even though it was difficult. All she could think about was Sara and the kiss they shared at the lake. How could she do this? In the past two weeks she overstepped more boundaries than she should ever allow herself to.  
The tingling sensation she felt in her stomach, when Sara kissed and cuddled her weren´t helpful either.

It took Ava a minute to realize that her patient stopped talking and watched her with a look of expectancy, as if he asked her something or waited for some kind of advice.   
“What do you feel when you think about that?” Ava hoped the patient didn´t notice she was not listening at all.  
“I just told you, doctor Sharpe!” He cried exasperated.  
Ava´s eyes got wide, thinking of an excuse “Yeah, I know, but what do you feel on a deeper level? It´s clear that the matter bothers you, but what happens if you think about it from another perspective?”  
“The other perspective is what I am here for doctor!” he felt like her doctor was not taking him seriously.  
“I know, but therapy can only be successful, if the patient tries to think about other perspectives and I´m here to create a safe environment for you to talk about your issues and to work on them with me. I can not take the weight off your shoulders, but I am here to get you to start thinking without spiraling down your own harmful thoughts.” Ava became pissed, because her patient seemed to think that she was some sort of faith healer. She knew it was not his fault that she didn´t listen to his rambling a few minutes ago, but that doesn´t mean that she could snap her fingers and he´d feel better. Therapy was a long process.

When she came home Nora was already cooking for them like she did every evening.  
“What´s up?” Nora called and all Ava was doing, was to let herself fall on the couch face forward and groaning.  
Nora stopped what she was doing, filled two glasses with Ava´s favorite red wine and walked over to the sofa Ava was laying on.  
“Ok sweetheart, what happened?” Nora put the glass for Ava right in front of her on the small table and patted her back.  
“I´m so stupid, Nora.” Ava stayed in her position theatrically.  
“What did you do?” Nora repeated herself.  
“It´s a long story.” Ava mumbled.  
“Shall I guess? You did the stupid thing I told you not to do and now it is affecting your work?” Nora took a long sip of her wine, knowing full well that she hit right on the button.  
“Where do you know that from?” Ava looked up for the first time, since she flopped down on the couch.  
“Oh, come on, Ava. I know you well and I saw that coming long before you did.”  
“I guess a `You could have told me` doesn´t count, huh?” Ava reached for her glass of wine.  
“No especially not, because I told you so. Do you want to talk about what happened?” Nora didn´t know if she should be mad or bemused, nevertheless, she was Ava´s best friend and she was there for her no matter what.

A few days prior

Ava lay on top of Sara losing herself in Sara´s eyes.  
“You are beautiful.” Sara said also not capable of withdrawing her look from Ava´s blues.   
“You are too.” Ava responded and seemed like she was looking for something in Sara´s eyes. Sara noticed.  
“Is anything wrong?” Sara asked a bit concerned and pulled Ava out of her trance.  
“No, I am just wondering, what´s going on inside that pretty head of yours.”  
“Ava, are you serious right now?” Sara laughed.  
“Yeah, why?” Ava wondered.  
“The only thing I am thinking about right now is to keep it in my pants, and not started a case of PDA.” Sara kissed Ava´s cheek. “you have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”  
“Oh, I am sorry is being pretty illegal now?” Ava laughed and tried to sit up, but Sara pulled her back on top of herself.  
“Stay, please.”  
And even though Ava knew she shouldn´t she found her kryptonite in Sara´s pleading eyes.  
“To answer your question; Did you ever find a psychiatrist as hot as you?”   
Ava thought about it for a moment and answered “Well, actually my ex-girlfriend…”   
“Weeehhh, stop right there! No talking about exes, you´re here with me, not your ex.”  
Ava could hear the hint of jealousy in Sara´s voice, but didn´t address it.   
“I know, but you asked and I answered.”  
“I know, nevertheless I don´t want to hear about the girls you shagged.”   
Now it was Ava´s turn to laugh. “Are you jealous, Miss Lance?”  
“NO!” Sara nearly yelled and tears started to dwell in her eyes. Ava noticed immediately and sat up, pulling Sara with her.  
“Sara, what´s wrong? I just wanted to tease you a little. I´m sorry, that went wrong, obviously.”  
“Ava, I don´t feel good at the moment.” Ava pulled a bottle of water out of her backpack and gave it to Sara.  
“Would you like to talk about it?” Ava sat down calmly and poured herself another cup of tea.  
“I want to smoke a cigarette.” Sara stated.  
“You quit months ago, Sara. It´s not a good idea.” Ava sipped her tea.  
“I know, I won´t, but that doesn´t mean that I don´t want to.” Sara tried to compose herself, she clearly felt her emotions riding on a roller coaster again. She didn´t want Ava to see this right now, but she couldn´t do anything about it. It was difficult to live with her Illness, even months after she has been diagnosed. One moment you are happy and, the other everything comes crashing down at you and you´re not able to contain yourself. Tears start to flow and sometimes your emotional pain becomes physical.  
Ava knew this. When she was at college she learned everything about people´s minds when they get bad news, weather it was a bad diagnosis or the death of a loved one.  
She knew that your mind could play tricks on you and pull you to the darkest of places. That was the reason she was so determined to specialize for that kind of patients.

Ava took Sara´s hands in hers after Sara has been quiet for a while.  
“Sara, I´m here to help, and I know this is difficult and uncomfortable for you, but I don´t want to drive you home when you´re like this.” Ava tried to look her in the eyes.  
“Why not? It doesn´t matter, … I don´t matter….” Sara´s eyes filled with tears and soon after, they cascaded their way down her cheeks.  
“Look at me!” Ava´s tone was demanding, but calm and to her surprise, Sara listened to her right away.  
“You matter, Sara. You are wonderful and life is wonderful. I know it is hard to come to terms with the matter that you have MS now, BUT you are more than your condition and once you understand that, life can become beautiful for you, again. You will find what you´re looking for. Maybe it´s a healthy relationship, maybe it is the job you always wanted, maybe both or maybe something completely different. But the important thing is, that everything will fall into place and I hope that one day you will remember, what I just told you and start laughing, because you are a strong ass warrior, Sara Lance.”  
They looked each other in the eyes for a while and Ava could see, Sara was processing her words.  
“I don´t believe you, Ava.” Sara mumbled, still looking her in the eyes.  
“Why not?”  
“No one wants to be with a woman, who has a shitty prospect on life like I do.” The tears still didn´t stop.  
“Sara the right person won´t care about your condition, I promise.”  
“Can I hug you?” Sara asked red eyed from crying.  
“You don´t have to ask.” Ava smiled and pulled the small body close and Sara kissed her cheek.

Present day

“Oh, Ava, dear.” Nora put her face in her hands. “What did you do?”  
“I know, I ignored her after I drove her to the doctor.” Ava looked kind of sad.  
“Oh, Ava, you´re making it worse.” Nora scolded.  
“I know, but what am I supposed to do, Nor?”  
“How would you feel, if you were in her place? She´s vulnerable and now her psychiatrist kisses her senseless and after that, she ignores her. Why did you ignore her in the first place?” Nora asked.  
“I feel awful.” Now it was Ava´s turn to put her face in her hands. “I don´t know, I panicked and I really don´t know what to do. I went too far, Nora.”  
“You need to make a decision Ava, for the both of you.”

Sara sat on her balcony, in front of her laptop. She was bored, because the doctor gave her a sick note for the week following her cortisone treatment. She needed a little peace and quiet to get down from the cortisone high.  
She wondered why Ava was ignoring her for a week except for when she was driving her to the doctor.  
Sure, they shouldn´t have let it get out of hand at the lake. But she has to admit, that the way Ava was making her feel wasn´t something she experienced before.  
Sara recalled the conversation between her and Ava over and over again and the one sentence she couldn´t get off her mind was “the right person won´t care about your condition”. Sara knew she was Ava´s patient and before they got to know each other better for the last two weeks outside of Ava´s work environment, Sara may have had a crush on Ava, but there was this little nagging feeling in the back of her head, that she might want Ava to be that right person and right when she wished Ava would call her or something, she received a text message.

Ava: Hey, are you okay? I guess we should talk.  
Sara: I´m okay, wow, we´re off for a fucking good start. “We should talk” is never a good sign, Ava.  
Ava: When are you free? I could pick you up after work.  
Sara: I am free all the time, I have a sick note, remember?  
Ava: Okay, I´ll be there around 7 p.m.

Sara became uneasy after she received Ava´s messages and called Zari right away.

“Hey, Sara.”  
“Hey, Z, are you free to talk right now?”  
“Sure, I am in home office right now, I can take a short break, no one will notice anyway. What´s up?”   
“Do you remember, the day I was at the lake with Ava?”  
“Yep.”  
“She just texted me for the first time, since she started to ignore me and suggested that we should talk and I am beyond scared right now. We overstepped too many boundaries and it´s never a good sign, when someone says `We should talk`”  
“Sara, I think, that you worry too much. Ava is a reasonable and responsible adult I don´t think that the conversation will end badly. By the way, from what you told me, you should think about what you really want from her.”

7 p.m. came way too early for Sara´s liking. She didn´t know what to expect.  
When the doorbell rang she got out of her apartment immediately and went to see Ava standing right in front of the door, smiling.  
“Hello, Sara.”  
“Hey.” Sara smiled back.  
“Shall we?” Ava pointed to her car.  
“Depends, can I drive?” She smirked.  
“Absolutely not, Sara.” Ava laughed and with that laugh Sara became a bit more confident for their conversation.

“Where do we go?” Sara asked  
“I´ll take you to my favorite restaurant. It´s a small place with fresh Italian food.” Ava answered politely.

After a short walk they arrived at the small insignificant looking shop and Ava held the door open for Sara to get in.  
“Ciao, Ava! Come sempre?” the elderly looking man behind the counter greeted her cheeringly.   
“No Giovanni, oggi ho un ospite con me and may we continue in english? There is nothing you can tell me in secret, because Miss Lance here knows Italian, too.” Ava smiled genuinely.  
Giovanni led them to their table and they were getting comfortable, when Gio asked them for what they´d like to drink.

“I didn´t know you were speaking Italian, too.” Sara said in awe.  
“Ava smiled, there is a lot that you don`t know about me, Sara.”  
“Care if I find out?” Sara had her signature smirk on her face and Ava just ignored her question and when Sara noticed there was no point in waiting for an answer, she changed the topic “Is there anything you would recommend?”  
“I think you´d love the carpaccio, it´s the best I´ve eaten so far. If it´s not your thing, you could also try the vitello tonnato. I don´t like it, though. The combination of fish and meat is too much for me.” Ava smiled.

Giovanni came back with their drinks, took their order and when he was gone, Sara couldn´t take it any longer “You wanted to talk, Ava, so please, start talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I will try to update more frequently from now on.  
> Let me know what you think and if someone is bored or just wants a conversation, find me on instagram: lisa_re93


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
>  I decided to post again today.   
> Enjoy and thank you for sticking around.

Ava folded her hands right in front of her face.  
“Sara, I don´t know if you´re aware, but what happened at the lake, shouldn´t have happened, thank god we didn´t go any further.”  
Sara became a bit defensive “So, you didn´t like it?”  
“I´m not saying that I did not enjoy kissing you, it was nice, but you have to understand that I have rules, that I have to follow and that the medical association wouldn´t approve if they found out.” Ava tried to explain calmly.  
“`Nice` is the little brother of shitty, you know? Although what does that mean? Don´t you want to be my doctor anymore?”   
“I do, but that means that there is no way that we will continue, whatever was evolving between the two of us for the last two weeks.”  
Sara gulped, she had to process what Ava just said. She had to admit, that Ava was right. She did not have the right to jeopardize Ava´s career just because she gets lost in her situation, at the moment. She felt the tears prickling in her eyes, but she told herself that she would not cry, no matter what. Sara felt childish. Sure, Ava made her feel safe all the time, but it´s her job. She has been trained for years to make people, especially her patients, feel safe. Also, she had to admit, that even if they could start something between them, it has been rushed. What was she thinking?

Ava observed Sara and noticed that Sara´s brain was short circuiting. They had therapy sessions for so long now, that Ava could see, if Sara struggled again, even though the girl tried not to show anything.  
“Sara, talk to me. What´s going on inside your head?”  
“Nothing.” Sara stared right past Ava.  
“If you don´t want me as your therapist anymore, I would understand. I have gone too far.”  
“Could you please stop your own guilt trip? It took the two of us, you didn´t force me to do anything.” Sara deadpanned.  
“I´m just saying that I had to take care that nothing like this happened. I shouldn´t even have Nora talk me into meeting up with you guys at the kart track, in the first place.” Ava paused, because Gio came to their table carrying their food. He sensed the two women seemed to have a serious conversation, so he just brought their orders, said “enjoy” and went right away.  
“Sara, I don´t know, what got me there, but I won´t continue this, either way. If you want me to stay your doctor, it´s okay, but don´t expect me to do anything I did during my vacation. If you don´t want to come to my office for your therapy anymore, that´s fine, too. Just tell me and I can find another therapist for you.” Ava´s face hardened.  
Sara felt like she wasn´t hungry anymore and she wanted to say so much to Ava, but this was the first time she felt like she couldn´t tell her everything, that´s on her mind, so she decided to go with “When´s the next therapy session, doctor Sharpe?”

Ava was taken aback by that reaction, she expected something way different coming from Sara´s temperament. That girl surprised her over and over again.  
“Next Friday, 10 a.m.” Ava said absentmindedly. They ate in silence and even the ride home was characterized by silence.   
“Take care of yourself, Sara.” Ava said while opening the door of her car for Sara.  
“You, too doctor Sharpe and since we are clearly on professional terms again, I would appreciate you to call me Miss Lance.” Sara´s tone was much colder than Ava has ever experienced.  
“Of course, Miss Lance.” Ava had to admit she was a little hurt, because of Sara´s repulsive behavior, but she knew it was for the better of their professional relationship, for Ava´s career and definitely for Sara´s mental health. With Ava´s statement, Sara left immediately and didn´t once look back or wave her goodbye.

When Ava came home, she was glad she was alone. Don´t get her wrong, she loved Nora, but sometimes, that woman was a pain in the butt. Mostly, because she stopped Ava from procrastinating. Without Nora talking to her, she definitely would have let the situation going on an on until there was no way out anymore, for neither of them. Ava would have lost her license and Sara would have been hurt badly. Ava thought that Nora was right. She had to end things before they even started and everyone knows how hard it is to stop the rush of euphoria, because there is something new. Ava felt the same. It was hard, but she felt guilty.  
Three days separated her from experiencing the new but old pissed Sara and time couldn´t pass slow enough for her.

Sara flopped down on the couch and did not do anything, she was too agitated from the conversation with Ava. She didn´t expect the evening to go downhill so quickly, but Ava seemed she had made up her mind and wasn´t ready to deviate an inch from her opinion.

She breathed in and out calmly, when her phone rang.  
“Yep?” Sara was unnerved.  
“Woah, Sara, that doesn´t sound like it was a successful date.” Zari cheered.  
“It wasn´t.”  
“I´ll be right there.” Zari hung up.  
Sara had absolutely no desire to talk to someone right now, she had to appreciate Zari´s determination, though.

When Zari arrived, she made herself comfortable as if she lived in Sara´s apartment, too. Not that Sara would mind. She loved, that her friends felt good in her home.

“So, what went wrong?” Zari unpacked a package of gummy bears. “Do you want some?”  
“No, thanks, I can´t eat gelatin. Pork is highly inflammatory.” Sara said without thinking, because that was her standard answer if someone offered her something like this.  
“Ehm, Sara? Did you forget, I´m Muslim, I don´t eat pork or its products either.” Zari grinned.  
“Oh, I´m sorry, Z. I didn´t think about that.” Sara was a bit ashamed, because she was so thoughtless to her best friend.  
“It´s okay, Sara. You have a lot on your plate. So, tell me, what went wrong with doctor hot ass pantsuit?”  
“Everything that could go wrong. She was friendly at first, but after we ordered and started talking, it went bad. She told me that she will stop whatever this is between us right away and the only option is a completely professional relationship between doctor and patient and if I didn´t want this, because she thinks she took advantage of me and misused her position, she would look for another doctor I could continue my therapy with.” She rambled and Zari´s expression, made it clear to Sara that she did not expect what she just told her.  
“So, I guess this was not, what you wanted to hear from Ava?” Zari asked cautiously, knowing full well, that she was the one, who told Sara to decide what she wanted from Ava and from the way Sara became bubblier, when she spent time with Ava, even during her cortisone treatment, showed Zari, that Sara might have wanted Ava to continue what they started and find a way to make it work.  
“No, I did not. I would have loved to see where this was about to go.” Sara grabbed a handful of Zari´s gummy bears.  
“Ehm, Sara? I know this question is kind of rude, but are you sure, you wanted this because of Ava, or because she made you feel safe and you´re spiraling in your head whether someone would like you or not, because you are so insecure about the MS at the moment and Ava was the first one to not turn on their heels and run as fast as they can?” Zari chewed her candy all the way through the question and Sara had to really think about it, because she didn´t ask herself this question, yet.

After a few minutes Zari looked at Sara expectantly. “Well?”  
“Sure, it felt good that she did not even care about my condition, but it´s definitely not the reason, I feel so dull right now. There is something about Ava, that truly fascinates me. I know it was a bit rushed, but that doesn´t mean it wasn´t real.” Sara said “And when she told me there would be a lot I don´t know about her she made me so curious.”  
“Okay, I really don´t know what to say now. What did you decide to do? Will you keep her as your doctor? “   
“Yes, I will. She planned the next appointment for the upcoming Friday.” Sara answered with mixed feelings.  
“Are you nervous?” Zari asked attentively.  
“Like hell, I don´t know what to expect.” Sara lay her head on top of Zari´s shoulder.

The next day Ava was off from work. Since she had her own office she decided to only work 4 days a week and take a break on Wednesdays. Listening to other people´s problems was exhausting.

“Good morning, dear.” Nora came into the kitchen and hopped on the chair standing in front of the kitchen counter.  
“Morning.” Ava mumbled, slicing fruit for her oatmeal.  
“Didn´t sleep well?” Nora asked stuffing some grapes in her mouth.  
“Nope, not at all, Nora and you?” Ava didn´t look up.  
“I slept pretty good. How was your date?”   
“You know damn well that it was not a date and that I told her that our relationship will be strictly professional from now on.” Ava let the knife fall on the countertop looking at Nora who stopped chewing immediately.   
“What?”   
“It feels pretty shitty.” Ava looked kind of sad.  
“Don´t tell me, you wanted more from Sara.” Nora said exasperated.   
“I don´t know, Nora. But now that there isn´t that option anymore, I feel like I made a mistake.” Ava said propping up on the counter.  
“Oh, Ava, I thought you made up your mind. What are you doing?” Nora didn´t quite understand why Ava made that decision that fast.  
“I know, but you know what I did to my ex? I don´t want to repeat that.” Ava now became really sad. “She would not deserve that and by the way, we´re also talking about my career here.”  
“Ava, I know you were an absolute asshole back then and you know I didn´t appreciate what you did to her, but that was 8 years ago. You are clearly more mature today. Don´t let what you did a long time ago be the only reason for your decision, Ava. I know there is an ethical debate whether it´s right or wrong to date a patient and I have to say, that I´m not a fan of those relationships, because you have a kind of responsibility for her. There are cases, where this went pretty well and the doctors and patients are even married today, but before you decide, be sure, that not only you are feeling good with it, but you won´t hurt Sara in any kind of way, that girl has enough on her plate right now. Talk to her.”   
Nora lectured Ava.  
“I think, it´s too late, Sara was pretty mad at me for telling her, that I want a strictly professional relationship.” Ava thought out loud.  
“You have nothing to lose, doctor Sharpe.” Nora said mockingly “Will you join me? I want to do a motorbike trip, today.”   
“Sure, but let me eat and take a shower first.” Ava smiled.

Friday came much too fast for Ava and she found herself waiting in her office for Sara. when the doorbell rang, she opened the door and clearly had to gulp, because this was the first time Sara decided to get ready before they met. Her blonde hair fell down to her shoulders and the make up complimented her beautiful features. The dark eyeliner let her icy blue eyes shine even more than they already did and her black little summer dress was enough to keep her look dressed, but also left little to the imagination.  
“Oh, wow, hello, Miss Lance.” Ava gestured Sara to enter her office.  
Sara smirked “Doctor Sharpe.” And nodded, while passing her.  
“Would you like to drink something?” Ava asked her patient.   
“A cup of coffee would be great, thanks.” Sara said and without Ava telling her that she may take a seat, she sat down on the couch elegantly.  
“Ava made two cups of coffee and gave one to Sara. She sat down opposite of her and looked at her expectantly.  
“You seem to feel good, Miss Lance.” Ava was curious, how the hell Sara seemed to have composed herself.  
“I do, doctor Sharpe. How about you?” She still smirked.  
“That´s not important, it´s your therapy session, not mine. What would you like to talk about today?” Ava asked and hoped they were getting to the point Sara would tell her why she was so bubbly again.  
“I want to talk to you about a Woman I met a while ago.”  
Sara observed Ava, who now became curious somehow.  
`What girl? She never mentioned someone, not even once´ Ava thought.  
“Okay, tell me about her.” Ava wasn´t sure she wanted to know.  
“Oh, I met her when I was totally wrapped up in myself and didn´t even think about dating someone or things like that. After a little time has passed, I felt a little better and I recognized that this woman was really pretty, and I became excited to getting to know her better, even though I didn´t know it was even possible. Turns out we met in our freetime, because of a coincidence and became a little closer, because of our stubborn friends, who talked us into ignoring boundaries and rules and the both dumbasses we are, happily obliged. Before I knew what happened she made out with me at a lake last week and kissed me senseless and now, after she ignored me, she insisted on a professional relationship. So, doctor Sharpe, my question is: Why is that woman such a complete asshole and why did she act the way she did?” Sara showed a toothy, but also sassy grin and Ava was perplexed and didn´t even know how to react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter and as always, let me know what you think.  
> I think this Chapter won´t have many more Chapters. I don´t want to predict anything but I guess there won´t be more than 5 more Chapters.   
> Have a nice day.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since today was awesome, here is another one.

She needed a moment to compose herself and to gain a bit of time she sipped her coffee slowly.  
“Miss Lance, I think I already told you, why I think it is better for the both of us, if we just get back to the way things were and also they are supposed to be.” Ava still had her mug on her lips.  
“I know you are concerned about your job and I get it, but don´t tell me, you did not feel that this was special and that you are not curious where this might have led us.” Sara tried to look in Ava´s eyes, but all Ava could do was staring to the wooden floor near Sara´s feet.  
“Sara….”   
“Oh, it´s Sara, again?” Sara quirked one eyebrow.  
“Please just stop and accept it, okay?”   
“No, I won´t Ava! You would not stop when something is important to you, either.” Sara wanted Ava to talk this out.  
“I just did, so should you.” Ava fired back, her memories and the danger of repeating certain mistakes hurt too much.  
“Ava, please….” Ava resisted looking at Sara, because her pleading eyes were her weak point.  
“No, Sara. I think it´s best for you, when you find another doctor. I have a few colleagues I would recommend.” While Ava was talking, she went to her desk, to find a business card and when she found it, she came to a halt right in front of Sara. Sara watched her in disbelief.  
“Are you serious, right now, Ava?! You can´t do this! You can´t decide which doctor I have to attend!” Sara started shouting. She was angry and could not believe Ava really did this, sure her attempt to get Ava to talk had been risky, but she did not think, that Ava would react immediately.  
“Of course, I can. I have to decide, what I think is best for my patient and I think that I am not the best therapist for you anymore. This is the card of doctor Ivy Harper, she is a psychiatrist, too and I have a feeling that the two of you will have a successful therapy. Do you want me to make an appointment for you?” Ava could see Sara was mad. Her eyes were wide in disbelief and the fire of her anger was clearly visible in her icy blues.  
“No, thank you doctor!” Sara grabbed the card and her belongings and stormed off.

Four weeks later, Sara still refused to call doctor Harper.  
She needed to overcome that Ava rejected her not only as a friend or whatever you might want to call her, but also as a patient. She really had hoped that she could break Ava´s reserve and get her to talk. As she could see now, it totally backfired. She knew, that one way or the other, she really had to call the other doctor. The therapy was good for her and she did not want to ruin her progress.  
She wondered how Ava was doing. She didn´t hear anything from her, since she walked out of her office the other day.  
Now she sat in front of her phone, business card in hand.  
Zari would kill her if she didn´t make an appointment, soon.  
She dialed the number.

“Doctor Ivy Harper´s office, how may I help you?”   
“This is Sara Lance. I´m calling you, because doctor Ava Sharpe gave me your number. She was my doctor, until she thought that she could not help me anymore and that doctor Harper might be the better therapist for my issues. I need an appointment.” Sara was kind of nervous. She´d always been someone who was chatty and very social, but she hated situations like this one.  
“Sure, Miss Lance. Does Friday 3 p.m. work for you?” the receptionist asked her over the phone.  
“Sure, Friday 3 p.m. is fine, thank you and have a nice day.”  
“Have a nice day, too, Miss Lance.”

“Who did you send her to?” Nora asked casually, when she saw Ava sitting at the dining table doing some paperwork.  
“Doctor Harper.” Ava stated without looking at Nora.  
“Wait, you suggested she should go to doctor Ivy Harper?” Nora nearly let her phone fall to the ground.  
“Yeah, why?” Ava was still not looking at her.  
“Ava? When do you plan to use our brain, again?” Nora asked exasperated.  
“What?! Why…….” her head shot up and she looked at Nora in shock, when it dawned on her. “Oh, fuck.”  
Nora laughed “Yep that´s what I thought. Why did you do that, again?”  
“I thought she was the best person to help her.” Ava put her head in her hands.  
“Yeah, maybe you´re right, but Ava, what is wrong with you? I don´t know you like that. Since when don´t you think twice about your actions?” Ava sat on the chair next to her best friend.  
“I don´t know, you should have seen her, Sara looked so good that day and I think that caused a stroke or something.” Ava was mumbling.  
“Do you want to tell Sara, or don´t you think, Ivy would tell her?” Nora caressed Ava´s back to soothe her a little.  
“No, I can´t tell her. I was the one to cut ties, remember? Again, by the way…”  
“Ava, I think you made a mistake.”  
Ava looked at Nora in disbelief “weren´t you the one who told me, that I have to decide what I wanted and that I had to remember that my career was important and at stake?! Weren´t you the one who told me that it was ethically reprehensible to date a patient?!”  
“Yes, I did. But Ava, if you had properly listened to what I was saying, you would also have heard that there are cases of doctors dating their patients and that it can work. Telling her to consult another doctor, would have been the right decision, then and again, Ava, what is wrong with you?”  
Ava didn´t say anything and just looked at Nora with teary eyes, her vision slightly blurred.  
“Well, I don´t know, what to do.”

“Welcome Miss Lance, doctor Harper will be with you, soon.” The receptionist said and let her into the room.  
“Thank you.” She answered and sat down and while she waited for doctor Harper to enter the room as well and start their session she noticed that the room was the complete opposite of Ava´s office.  
While Ava´s room was clean, modern and held in cold colors like black and white and the one blue couch as an only eye catcher, doctor Harper´s room was cozily tainted in warm colors.  
Sara had to admit that she liked Ava´s office better.

Doctor Harper came in and Sara didn´t expect what she just saw.  
A beautiful woman with shoulder long Black hair came in the room smiling, so far so good. Sara did nor expect her being in a wheelchair, though.  
She immediately tried to mask her reaction and greeted her new therapist, a little too friendly.  
“Hello, Miss Lance. I was told, doctor Sharpe sent you here. Did she tell you, why she thought it was better to change your therapist in midst of therapy?” Doctor Harper smiled and Sara cleared her throat.  
“I.., ehm.., well, she said, she could not help me anymore and that you would understand my issue better than she ever could and suggested that I came here.” Sara lied, because she didn´t think that doctor Harper should know why Sara really had to come here. Ava wasn´t exactly fair, but that wasn´t a reason to risk Ava´s license, though.

“What is your issue, then?” Doctor Harper smiled and Sara thought, that Ava´s smile was so much warmer than doctor Harper´s.  
“Well, doctor Harper, shortly after Christmas, on 29 of December 2019, I decided, rather involuntarily, to go to the hospital. One year earlier, in 2018, it started with nausea and vertigo. I even lost my former job back then, because I was not able to work, when it happened during my qualifying period. I went to one doctor after the other and no one found out, where the vertigo came from. I wasn´t even able to walk properly and I also didn´t want to, because it was nerve wrecking and people judged me. One day, it looked like I was drunk and some random guy asked me if I didn´t think, that 10 a.m. is too early for getting drunk, because I was not able to walk straight.  
After about 6 to 8 weeks my situation started to normalize a little, the vertigo did not go away completely, though. I still feel it every day at some point. I never went to doctors, when I was sick, but that was the time I should really have gone to the hospital. I don´t know why I didn´t. Maybe I was scared of the result. Today I know, that whether you get tested for anything or not, the diagnosis stays the same. The only difference is, that you know what´s wrong with your health. Anyway, I went to the hospital in December, because ten days prior, when I was at work, I noticed the spot of skin underneath my belt getting kind of numb. The day after, my feet started to pick and my fingertips felt kind of numb, too.  
I went to the doctor again and he told me that there would be a pinched nerve in my back and prescribed some muscle relaxant. Obviously, it did not work and while I was waiting for the medicine to kick in, it was getting even worse. By 24 of December everything from my beltline downwards felt numb and picking. I could feel my legs and I could even walk, but the skin was numb. The only thing I felt was the picking. It was torture and by the time the picking in my whole body stopped in March, I felt relieved, because at some point it was torture. I could not even take a knife in my hand, because the contact made the picking worse and I also think that this was the worst pain I had in all my life. By December 29 every part of my body beside the neck and face was numb and picking, the clothes I wore, hurt on my skin and there was a feeling as if a metal belt was being wrapped around my upper body and breast and with every breath I was taking, I felt like the belt became tighter and tighter. I couldn´t lay down or sit properly and standing was difficult, too.  
At the hospital the neurologist examined me, They had to do many tests, first of all was a CT Scan, then he put needles everywhere, because he wanted to know how much I still felt, next one was a spinal tap, an electromyography and two MRI scans, the first one of my head and the second one of my cervical spine. I got treated with cortisone each day I spent there and by the end of the week, they told me that I did not have a pinched nerve or a brain tumor, but that I have multiple sclerosis.”  
It was difficult for Sara to talk about the worst moment in her life, so much her doctor could tell.  
“Well Miss Lance, what do you feel when you talk about this?” Doctor Harper watched her sympathetically.  
“I feel numb, somehow, but I would say the main emotion I feel is sorrow. I´m so scared of many things. Five weeks ago, I had an episode, my third one overall and I felt like giving up. The injection exhausts me every time and the medicine hurts, while injected and I ask myself, what am I doing this for?” Talking to doctor Harper was easy, Sara thought. Okay, she wasn´t Ava, but this was nice.

“You have no Idea, what you´re doing this for, Miss Lance?” Doctor Harper asked her cautiously and Sara shook her head no.  
After a short pause doctor Harper continued.  
“Then look at me, Miss Lance. This is what your injection may prevent.”  
Sara stared at her in disbelief “What?!”  
“Yep, I´ve been diagnosed with MS twelve years ago, what you can see now, is the evidence of my third episode. The immobility remained.”  
Sara stayed quiet. She was socked.   
“I think this is, why doctor Sharpe thought, it would be a good idea if I continue to work with you. You seem shocked, Miss Lance.”  
“I am, doctor. I´m sorry that I have to say this, but that is one of the things I´m scared of.”  
“I know, I was, too. Now I know it is bad, yes, but the worst thing happened afterwards.”  
“I´m sorry, if I am rude now, but are you able to walk, at all?” Sara was curious.  
“I am, but it became so difficult, that I have to use the wheelchair most of the day. The reactions I get, when I stand up from that chair, are hilarious and they also hurt.”  
“What were you talking about, when you said, the worst thing happened afterwards?”  
“Well, I was in a relationship, when I got diagnosed and that woman, who is about my age, said, she loved me and wanted to stay by my side. She even proposed three and a half years later. After that, I had my third episode and when my ability to walk stayed as it is today, she bailed on me.”  
“What?! What kind of bitch would do that?!” Sara nearly shouted. This was something she was frightened of, too.  
“It doesn´t matter.” Doctor Harper said with a stern look on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so not predictable at all, am I right? How did you like the chapter? Tell me what you guys think and as always, I am open for suggestions. Is there anything I could do better? Stay safe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for still reading the story, I appreciate every single comment and kudo of you.  
> Please read the notes at the ending of the chapter, I might need your help.  
> Have a nice day and even though this chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones, enjoy reading.

The weeks went by and Sara liked her new therapist, but she missed Ava. Doctor Harper really was nice to her and they could talk about the MS. Hearing her doctor talk about her experiences helped her a lot. Doctor Harper provided some tricks for Sara to get along with her new condition and her reduced efficiency.  
Meanwhile Ava struggled with her decision.  
She did not know whether Ivy told Sara or not.  
She really hoped, Ivy would stay professional, though. Since Ava´s mind wandered around the thought of Sara and that it might have been a mistake to shut her out completely, she tried to get rid of her thoughts and find something, or better said someone different to do. Ava even created an Upswipz-profile.  
She lay on her towel at the lake and swiped up and down, while Nora was in the water playing around with Ray.  
“Did you already find someone, Ava?” She shouted.  
“No, I didn´t. They either look like serial killers or someone in need of a therapist or fresh out of jail.” Ava stated and Nora laughed, while Ray watched them in confusion.  
“Found someone, for what?” He asked and pulled Nora out of the water, walking in Ava´s direction.  
“Someone, for you know. Getting to know each other, hooking up, something like that.” Nora whispered, so only Ray could hear her.  
“What? Why? What about Sara? They looked like they were hitting it off, right away.”  
“Yeah, it´s a long story, Ray. Please don´t tell Sara.”  
“But I can´t keep any secrets, Nora.” Ray´s face went white.  
“Yeah, well, you have to.” Nora whispered back and they stopped the conversation, when they arrived right in front of Ava.

“So, Ava, could you please put your phone aside?” Nora asked sitting down next to Ava “How about we go find someone for you at a bar or something?”  
“Yeah, sure, why not? That app is useless anyway.” 

Ava found herself standing at the bar on Saturday night, enjoying her whiskey.  
“Did you find someone?” Nora asked.  
“Nope, not yet.” Ava leaned on the counter “Don´t look too obvious, but Sara is sitting in that booth over there.”  
Nora rolled her eyes “Oh, Ava, really? Are you still not over the whole situation?” Nora looked in the direction Ava told her to and there she was. Sara was sharing the booth with Zari and was laughing pretty hard, while Zari just grinned. “Is she looking over here?” Ava was nervous.  
“No, why should she do that? She probably did not even notice you were here. I can change that, though.” Nora grinned.  
“No, you won´t Nora.” Ava exclaimed and grabbed Nora´s wrist to prevent her walking over to where Sara was sitting.  
“Why not? You´re still whining internally and I will put that to a halt. I love you, Ava, but you annoy the shit out of me. Let´s go.”  
“Don´t I have to say anything here?” Ava asked exasperated.  
“NO!” Nora cut her off, pulling Ava with her.

“Hello Ladies!” Nora exclaimed, pushed Ava down to sit right next to Sara and flopped down herself “I guess you don´t mind if we sit here, do you?”  
Zari and Sara shared a look.  
“What are you doing here?” Zari asked and Nora answered nonchalantly “That girl,” she pointed her finger at Ava “has been a mess for the past few weeks and since she noticed you sitting here I decided that we should say `hi`. Zari, let´s get some drinks, okay?” Nora got up from her seat giving Zari a look as if she hoped she would understand, but that girl just looked at her confused.  
“But Sara and I just got drinks.”  
Nora gritted her teeth, grabbed Zari´s wrist and pulled her up and away “No, you did not, let´s get new ones.” 

After a moment of silence Ava brought herself to start a conversation “So, how´s therapy. How are you?”  
Sara didn´t look at her right away “I´m fine, doctor Harper is really cool. You were right she helped me a lot.”  
“That´s good to hear.” Ava drummed her fingers on the table looking around and just hoped that she would come up with something, so she could keep the conversation alive. 

“Did you know she has MS, too?” Sara asked and now looked at Ava, whose eyes went as wide as tennis balls “Yeah, I knew. Did she tell you anything about herself?”  
“Yes, she told me a lot about herself and how I could help myself when the symptoms would get the best of me again.” Sara noticed Ava getting nervous. “Did you know her fiancée bailed on her after she had her third episode? This is tough. I was shocked and wondered what kind of bitch would do something like that.” Sara was going on and on about the topic of some asshole ex leaving her therapist and after 5 minutes Ava´s head had become red like a cherry. She could not take this any longer.  
“I was that bitch, okay?!” And before she even knew what she just said she clapped her hands to her mouth and saw Sara´s disappointed and kind of hurt expression “Did I just say that out loud?”  
Silence.

“What the fuck, Ava?!” Sara shouted from excitement.  
“Stop shouting, please.” Ava´s embarrassment was evident in her voice.  
“I though you were that cool, collected woman who does not make mistakes and…” Sara stopped, because a thought came to her mind. “fuck you, Ava! You are such a hypocrite!” Sara was about to get up and leave, but Ava, who saw the chance of reconciliation fly out of the window, did not let her.  
“Stay, please. Or let´s get somewhere we can talk this out, pretty please.” Ava watched Sara pleadingly and Sara needed a moment to calm down.  
“Why should I listen now? You did not give me a chance to talk to you a few weeks ago, either.” Sara asked coldly even though she was curious, how the whole story would turn out.  
“Because I don´t like not talking to you, Sara and also, I think that you get a completely wrong impression right now.” Ava still looked at Sara hoping she would give in.

“Okay, you want to talk, let´s talk. It is way too loud here, though. There is a little park and a bench not far from here. Let´s go there and tell Nora and Z where we are going.”

After a 5-minute walk Ava and Sara arrived at the park. Ava could see the bench from afar. The light the little pond in front of the bench provided was enough to see and not to feel like sitting under stage lights. They could hear the chirping of crickets and the soft splash of the fountain. It was a beautiful night, not too warm and the stars were clearly evident on the night sky. The moon´s reflection on the surface of the water would have turned the scenery into a romantical one, if the reason they went here was a good one.

Ava gestured Sara to sit down and when she sat down herself, she was careful to keep her distance.  
“Why, Ava?” Sara asked quietly.  
“Sara, this happened eight years ago. I was too young back then. I was in love with Ivy, so much that I didn´t even care that she was sick. I knew what MS was. I was studying medicine and psychology and multiple sclerosis is something that I clearly had to learn about. I needed to work with a neurologist for my degree and I witnessed so many patients, who struggled badly. I was naïve, though.  
I told myself that we could overcome anything that would be thrown at us, little did I know I was wrong.  
Ivy became depressed and I did everything I could to help her. When I got used to her mood swings I even put up with them, because I loved her. Since her diagnosis she had been incredibly insecure about herself and our relationship and young as I was and also as I said before, I thought I wanted to stay with her all my life so why should I not propose to her? I absolutely repressed the fact that there was a chance she could become Severely disabled. When her mobility stayed as bad as it was since her third episode, she became even more depressed and detached from herself, she shut me out and our relationship suffered. I tried everything I could, I read psychology books for any kind of help I could provide her. You can imagine how hard this was not only for her but for me, too. I´m not proud of what I did Sara, but to save my mental health there was no other way, than to break off with her. I was sure, that I also had the right to get happy one day and I did my part to try to help her, but there is only so much someone can do. This whole story was the reason I swore to myself that I would never reject a patient, who just got a bad diagnosis or something like that.” Ava did not look at Sara, she didn´t want to push her.

“Ava, I don´t know what to say, I understand why you left her, but this is the worst you could have done to her in that situation. I, myself, am incredibly scared that this could happen to me one day, too.”

“This was one of the reasons I pushed you away.” Ava looked like someone punched her in the face.

“Why, Ava? I get that you did it also because of your job, but you could have ended the therapy and you also could have told me to go to doctor Harper much earlier.”  
While Ava was thinking, Sara watched Ava´s profile. That woman was so beautiful. She loved to see Ava in her pantsuit, but this outfit was another story. Ava totally rocked her black low-cut V-neck shirt, the red blouse she left open and her dark blue ripped jeans.  
“You´re right. I could have told you to continue your therapy with Ivy, but I was and still am scared, that I could react the same way again.” Ava sighed “There are only 2.5 million people in the world that have MS and I fall in love with one of them, only to start to fall for another one, ironic, isn´t it?”

“You started to fall for me?” Sara asked enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I guess. I don´t know how to describe it differently. So, if you know another word for this, go ahead and tell me.” Ava turned her head to look at Sara for the first time since they started talking.

“I miss you, Ava.” Sara looked her former therapist in the eyes.

“I miss you, too. Sara.” Sara could not help it. She moved closer and closer while looking in Ava´s eyes, as if she might have wanted to kiss Ava and when their faces were only a few centimeters apart, Ava stopped her again and retreated her face from Sara´s.

“Stop.” Ava said and immediately regretted to tell Sara to stop, when she saw the hurt in Sara´s eyes “Sara, I don´t want to hurt you. When I think about what I did to Ivy, I am scared to make the same mistake, again.”

“You´re not 24 anymore and I am not Ivy and how about instead of second guessing everything, we try to enjoy and use that I am still able to do anything any other human being can do, too?” Sara put her hand in Ava´s and intertwined their fingers.  
“I…, I would love this.” Ava said. Sara smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but Ava stopped her again. “I want to make this right. Will you go out on a date with me, Sara? That means in case you can forgive me that I have been such an asshole.” Ava put her head on Sara´s shoulder. And Sara could not resist kissing Ava´s temple.  
“I´d love to go on a date with you.”  
And with that answer Ava´s smile grew bigger and bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to know, what you would like to see for their date? Is there something in particular you´d like to read?  
> Stay safe.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter rating M, if you´re not into reading smut, don´t read the last third of the chapter.  
> Guys I got carried away a little. I have to tell you guys I really struggled while writing that smutty part and I hope you like the whole chapter.
> 
> In case anyone wonders: In this fic, I had two of my dearest and closest friends as an inspiration for Nora and Zari and at this point I just wanted to thank them for always being honest with me and for always kicking my butt, no matter the situation. I know they are reading this right now, because they bugged me to send them each chapter I write, even though they don´t watch Legends, at all. They keep up with my shit every day and I am grateful for the badass bitches they are.
> 
> Enjoy the Chapter

Nora came home from work on Friday and the moment she entered the apartment, she shared with Ava, she thought that burglars might have robbed them.  
There were shirts scattered around the whole living area. A pile of trousers rested on top of the dining table.  
“What the hell?” Nora mumbled while walking through the apartment in order to find Ava. She came to an abrupt halt, when a set of thrown underwear passed her head by only a few centimeters. She turned her head to look in Ava´s room and there she was, in boxer shorts and a sports bra, totally freaking out and talking to herself.  
“Ava!” Nora exclaimed and Ava immediately snapped out of it.  
“Oh, hi, Nora. You´re early.”   
“Yeah, I can tell from what I just witnessed. What is wrong? The whole apartment looks like it has been hit by a bomb.” Nora was somewhat upset. She invited Ray to watch some movies that evening and from the way the apartment looked at that moment, there was no way that was going to happen.  
“I don´t have anything to wear.” Ava panicked.  
“Have you lost your damn mind? Tell me when you found something to wear, so I can kick your ass. You will tidy this up, before you go to your date with Sara and don´t even think about bailing on me. I will make sure, you do as I said.” Nora had a hard time to stay serious, because Ava was somewhat adorable. She wanted her best friend to be happy.  
“Yeah, at least you could help me to find something to wear, though.” Ava stated and threw another set of underwear at Nora.  
Nora caught the bra and threw it back to Ava “Fine, but don´t you dare doing that again.”  
“Thank you.” Ava said, relieved that Nora would help her. There was a fair chance that she would never find something to wear, if Nora did not help her. “What would I do without you?”  
“I don´t know. Miss the date or maybe going naked?” Nora smiled “So, where do you go? Is this date more formal or casual?”   
“Since we´re not going to the opera, I´d say I need something casual to wear, but not too casual. I don´t want her to think, that I don´t care.” Ava sat down next to Nora.  
“Well, why don´t you mix it up a bit?” Nora asked and Ava just looked at her questioningly “How?”  
Nora went to Ava´s closet and rummaged through the remaining clothes, which weren´t scattered across the apartment. “Hm, I think that you should wear one of your nice blouses you always wear to work.”  
“What? No!” Ava said following Nora.  
“Hell, yes. You know, one of the blouses, that fit perfectly and hug you in all the right places and make sure, it´s a long sleeve, so you can roll it up your arms and if Sara is in need of a jacket, you have to wear a blazer on top.”  
Ava gave up, she stressed herself out too much, earlier and she also trusted Nora she just stayed behind her best friend who threw the pieces of clothing at her to catch.  
“But Nora, this is what Iook like at work.”   
“No, it´s not, because it´s not your pantsuit. The blazer looks much more casual than those things you wear every day.”  
“But it´s still a white blouse and a black blazer.”  
Yeah and who cares? You will look good trust me.”  
“Okay, Nora.”   
“Hm, where is it?” Nora went to the dining table to look for pants.  
“Which ones?” Ava asked.  
“The ripped ones, you know, the ones you can see your bare knees, the light blue jeans.”  
“Yep I know, they´re still hanging on the clothesline. They should be dry, though.”  
“Okay Ava, what are you waiting for? Clean up this mess and go take a shower. I need to prepare for Ray coming here, too. When you´re finished hop under the shower and I will help you with your hair and don´t forget to clean your white converse chucks.”  
“Yeah, okay. Thank you, Nora, you´re a lifesaver.” And with that, she started to tidy up, clean her shoes and was taking a shower in no time. About 30 minutes later Ava found herself in her room in front of the mirror.  
“Ready?” Nora asked.  
“Yeah, I think I won’t do too much make up, just a little to accentuate my eyes. What do you think?” Ava turned her head in Nora´s direction.  
“That´s perfect, Ava. I´d say you´ll leave your hair open and flowing down your right shoulder.” Nora smiled.

Meanwhile Sara was having the time of her life. Music was blaring out of her speakers again, while she was sitting in front of the mirror getting ready, until Zari called.

Zari: “Are you okay, Sara?”  
Sara: “Sure, there is no reason I´m not. I feel great today, no symptoms, which bug me and I am about to meet Ava.”  
Zari: “That´s great. What did you decide to wear?”  
Sara: “Nothing special, light blue washed jeans a white V-neck shirt and my light blue leather jacket.”  
Zari: “Sounds good, are you nervous?”  
Sara: “Yes, I want this to work, Zari.”  
Zari: “It will. Stay as you are and the two of you will get along well and before you know, the date will be a success. Good luck!”  
Sara: “Thank you, Z.”  
Zari: “You can call anytime you need me, okay?”  
Sara: “You, too and thank you.”  
Zari: “You´re welcome.

Sara waited for Ava to pick her up around 7 pm. And time couldn´t pass any slower.   
She was nervous. Sure, everything that happened felt rushed, but also right. There was absolutely no need to worry about Ava´s license anymore. She had a new therapist, who was able to really help her. Not that Ava was a bad therapist, but doctor Harper could rely on her own experiences, in that whole therapeutic process, for once Ava screwed up for the better.  
The way Ava looked at her when they talked about the whole mess the other day and the sincerity she felt radiating from her, calmed Sara down. She could not be mad anymore.  
She met Ava, when Sara was at her worst and Ava was responsible, that Sara felt better every day. Ava reassured Sara to accept her new situation and maybe now was the time Sara could give something back to Ava. Sara knew that gorgeous woman did not know any better to do. She was scared and did not want to hurt Sara. Now it was Sara´s turn to help Ava dealing with a MS patient confidently.

The doorbell rang and even though Sara met Ava like a thousand times already, Sara was nervous and giddy as if this was a blind date.

She grabbed her handbag and her keys, checked her appearance for the last time and went downstairs in order to start the hopefully wonderful evening with Ava.

When Sara saw Ava standing in front of the door a beautiful, gigantic bouquet of flowers in hand, she nearly dropped her handbag “Wow, you look gorgeous, Ava.”  
“So do you, Sara.” Ava smiled all over her face and gave the bouquet to Sara. Sara took it and hugged Ava, tightly.  
“Shall we?” Ava asked and held her hand out for Sara to take.  
Sara intertwined their fingers and followed Ava to her car.  
Ava opened the door for her and took the bouquet from Sara. she helped her getting into the car and after Ava shut the door of the car, she lay the bouquet down onto one of her cars´ backseats. Ava took a deep breath and got behind the wheel.  
“Ava, what about the flowers? They don´t have water. What happens when they dry out? They are so beautiful.”  
Ava smiled at Sara warmly “don´t worry, if they dry out I´ll buy new ones for you.” Sara smiled like a dork and Ava started the engine.  
“Can I?” Sara gestured with her hand and Ava answered by taking Sara´s hand in hers, immediately “You don´t have to ask.”

When they arrived at a lake Sara asked for the first time what Ava had in mind to do.   
“Well, we have been here before, do you remember?” Ava smiled and now, that Ava told her she recognized the lake they have been to before. “Yeah, but what are we doing here?” There is another lake next to this one, where I´ll take you out for dinner.”  
“What did you plan to do? Catching fish and kill them with your bare hands?” Sara laughed “You can throw your blouse away after, because those bloodstains will definitely ruin it.”   
“No, you dork. There is a small restaurant at the lake and they have tables on the balcony right at the water. I thought you might like the scenery.” Ava came to a halt in the parking lot. “Come on.” She said and walked around the car to open the door for Sara once again.  
“You´re so sweet, I don´t know you like this.” Sara grinned and Ava watched her as if she wanted to talk back “Yeah, well, I can stop, if you want me to.” Ava played as if she was offended by Sara´s statement and turned her head away. She really struggled to keep a straight face and Sara just kissed her cheek. “Don´t you ever stop, this is lovely, you are lovely.” Sara´s cheeks assumed a little color and she hoped she did not reveal too much to Ava, yet.  
“Come on, let´s get something to eat and if you feel good after, we could go on a walk? The lakeside is beautiful. The sand makes it feel like you´re on a beach, at least as long as you don´t look in the opposite direction. The forest shows you otherwise.” 

“Welcome, did you make a reservation?” The man behind the counter asked them.   
“Hello, doctor Sharpe, table for two on the balcony.” Ava responded and did not let go of Sara´s hand.  
When they arrived at the table Ava pulled the chair out for Sara to sit and after she took a seat herself.

After a while the water asked them for the third time what they might want to eat, but Ava and Sara still could not respond. Instead of studying the menu, they were too busy, looking in each other’s eyes and smiling.  
“Ladies? Did you pick something now?” The waiter was a little bit on edge, so much Sara could tell.  
“Oh I´m sorry, Sir. I would like to have the pickled salmon with lamb's lettuce and pineapple-papaya-relish.” Sara answered.  
“And for you, Miss?” He looked at Ava now.  
“Please, can I have the chicken breast with a rocket and mango salad.” Ava folded her hands and put them in front of herself. When she looked at Sara again, she noticed Sara shaking her head.  
“What´s wrong?”   
Sara smiled at Ava “Your hand doesn´t belong there.” She lay her hand down, close enough for Ava to take and Ava took Sara’s hand in hers again, smiling.  
“You´re unbelievable, Sara.”  
“Why?” Sara grinned.  
“Just because you are.”   
“Don´t let go of my hand ever again, please.” Sara mumbled and Ava laughed at that “This may become difficult, while eating, but I promise, I won´t. I made that mistake a few weeks ago and that is never going to happen again.”   
“I hope so.”  
“I´m kind of nervous, Sara.” Ava averted her eyes.  
“Oh, is that true? Is this the premiere of Ava Sharpe that cool, collected, badass woman who is freaking out and being nervous because of a girl?” Sara laughed.  
“I don´t know, why you think about me that way, but I take it.” Ava smiled.  
“There is no need to be nervous, babe, I´m already here with you on that date.” That term of endearment accidentally slipped away from Sara and she hoped Ava wouldn´t mind.  
“So, babe it is now?” Ava grinned. And Sara´s knees went weak from that smile, that if she did not sit already she would have found herself sitting on the floor by now.  
“Is that a problem? If you mind I can just get back to calling you by your name again.” Sara rambled self-conscious.  
“Don´t you dare, BABE.”   
The waiter came back and served their food.   
“Your dish looks delicious.” Sara noticed.  
“Would you like to try?” Ava offered.  
“Only if you also try mine.” Sara said and when she looked up from that plate again she saw Ava holding the her fork out for Sara to taste.   
“This is so good.” Sara said with her mouth still full and her eyes wide “I really love the mango-thingy.”   
“I don´t know, this was the first bite you just got.” Ava answered.  
“Here you can have my first one, too” Ava tasted the food and it was delicious. She did not like salmon that much, but the combination was just great.

They talked through the entire meal. They talked about trivial topics as well as politics, work, friends and also, because Sara still noticed a hint of insecurity from Ava, what happened between them and how to deal with it in the future. It was important for Ava to know. She needed to stop her internal guilt trip in order to build a healthy relationship with Sara. The waiter came around way too often for Ava´s liking and also, he gave too many corny comments about how beautiful Sara was and stuff like that, but Ava tried to ignore it.   
In midst of their conversation and their third bottle of water, Sara noticed that a woman, who was sitting at the table next to them, observed Ava with flirty eyes all the time. Ava did not seem to have noticed and even if she did, she seemed not to care. Sara on the other hand did not like that woman eyeing Ava the way the woman did, so it had been a matter of time for Sara to explode.  
“Wait a second.” Sara interrupted Ava and turned her head to that woman and shouted “Why don´t you take a photo, it will last longer!”   
“Excuse me?!” The woman asked exasperated.  
“Yeah, this is my girl you are undressing with your eyes all the time, go and find a different one!”   
Ava should not have laughed at this, but Sara shouting at that woman, because she was jealous was hilarious.   
Sara was still going on and on and Ava did not even care that everyone was looking at them. The waiter did not seem to enjoy Sara´s little show, so Ava tried to calm Sara down.   
“Babe?” Still no reaction, Sara was in rage mode “BABE!!!!” Ava shouted and Sara snapped out of it. Finally, Sara stopped.   
“What?”   
“Would you stop, please? I´m here with you, not with her. I did not even notice she was there, I had been to intrigued by you and your eyes.” And with that said, Sara was calm immediately. “Okay, I´ll stop.”  
Shortly after, Sara went to the restroom and Ava payed the bill. Don´t get her wrong, she always overtiped the waiters, who were serving her, but that guy was not one of them. She also told the man behind the counter, that his colleague was not well behaved and waited for Sara to get out of the restroom, so they could leave.  
They decided to take a walk on the lakes´ beach and this time Sara did not need to ask Ava for her hand to take, because she did it on her own.  
“You could have taken the waiter home with you, you know?” Ava did not want to say this, but the fact Sara kept her silence, back at the restaurant, made her say it.  
“Why should I do that?” Sara looked at Ava puzzled.  
“He was clearly interested in you.” Ava mumbled.  
“Nah, he reminded me of John.” Sara laughed.  
“Who´s John?” Ava didn´t even register that she stopped walking.  
“A guy I slept with about a year ago.” Sara looked at Ava, whose face went out of her control. “Don´t worry, though this was more than a year ago and I have you by my side now, so why should I do that?” Sara kissed Ava´s cheek and pulled her with her. Ava felt relieved.  
They were walking in silence. The moon shone bright that night and the lampions of the restaurant provided a warm light that came from the distance.  
They found a cozy place near the water and sat down.

It was a warm night, so Ava did not expect Sara to tell her she was cold. `Nora you are a genius` Ava thought and gave the blazer to Sara wo immediately took it.  
“If you´re too cold, we can go to the car.” Ava smiled at Sara, even though she hoped, that the blazer was enough, so they could stay at the lake a little longer.  
“Actually, I wanted you to give me your blazer, because it smells like you.” Sara´s cheeks became slightly red and Ava couldn´t do any different than laugh. “You could have told me, that you wanted to cuddle.” Ava answered and got closer to Sara. She lay her arm around Sara, who snuggled against her.   
“This is better.” Sara said.  
“Are you ok, Sara?” Ava asked genuinely.  
“Yes, why do you ask?” Sara looked up at Ava´s face but she did not lift her head.  
“Just wanted to make sure.” Ava smiled and did not stop looking in Sara´s eyes “Did you like the evening so far?”  
“It was, no, it still is perfect.” Sara smiled and noticed Ava´s face getting closer. Sara bit her lip and looked at Ava, whose eyes dropped down to Sara´s lips and Sara understood, what Ava wanted.  
Sara closed the distance between their lips. She could feel Ava´s soft and full lips slowly and carefully brushing over hers. Sure, this wasn´t the first kiss they shared, but it was different, better even. Ava was so careful and soft. This kiss was not demanding in any way and Sara just savored this moment. Ava had been so sweet all night and she could not even imagine to let that woman go. With every movement their lips made she felt that mean tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach, which indicated that this was more than just a kiss and that there were emotions involved.  
They stayed like this for a while. They looked around the beautiful scenery, whispered sweet nothings to one another and shared kisses occasionally. 

When they arrived at Sara´s apartment, they did not want the night to end, because that would have meant, they would have to separate again and this has been the case for too long.  
“I don´t want this night to end.” Sara said wrapping her arms even tighter around Ava´s waist.”   
“Me neither.” Ava kissed Sara on top of her head.  
“How about, you stay the night. Don´t worry we´ll keep it PG13, though.” Sara beamed at Ava and the moment Ava looked at Sara, she knew, Sara had already won.  
“Okay.” 

“Would you like to drink something? I don´t keep any alcohol, though, because you know why.” Sara asked.  
“That´s fine, I don´t need alcohol anyway, especially not when I am with you, babe.” Ava hugged Sara, who examined her fridge, from behind.  
“I could get used to this.” Sara smiled and pressed her back even more into Ava´s front “Is water okay for you?”  
“It´s perfectly fine, thank you.” Ava kissed Sara´s neck and retrieved to the sofa.  
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Sara put the water bottle and to glasses on the table and flopped down close to Ava.  
“Well, it´s pretty late already, so maybe we could watch the latest episode of Legends of Tomorrow? I was at work when that one aired.” Ava asked sheepishly.  
“Sure.” Sara smiled.

Watching the show was to no avail. Ten minutes in and neither of them really payed attention. They made out instead.  
“You are so freaking beautiful, it´s illegal.” Sara said in between kisses. “So are you.” Ava struggled to answer. Sara was straddling her on the couch and kissed her neck. Sara was driving Ava wild. The way her lips traced the line of her main artery was too good to be true.  
“Didn´t we want to keep it PG-13?” Ava breathed. Sara was clearly not messing around.  
“Yeah, you know what? Fuck PG-13.”   
“You seem like you wanted to fuck something or even more someone different.” Ava tried to answer, but Sara was giving her a hard time to do so.  
When Sara registered what Ava had just said she couldn´t suppress her laughter anymore.   
“You´re an ass. I´m trying to do something serious here, don´t make me laugh.”   
“Okay, sweetheart. Let’s go to bed, were wasting energy with that TV.” Ava hoisted Sara in the air and carried her. Sara´s legs wrapped around Ava´s waist, made her think about Ava´s abs again. While carrying Sara, Ava grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.  
“You have to guide me, I don´t know where your bedroom is.” Ava kissed Sara´s cheek.

Sara turned around facing Ava, who just folded her blouse neatly and put it aside along her other clothing.  
“You are really not making it any easier for me, babe.” Sara grinned.  
“Why? Do you want me to sleep in my clothes?” Ava asked getting comfy under the blanket facing Sara.  
“I don´t want you to sleep at all, babe.” Sara grinned at straddled Ava´s waist for the third time.  
“You´re a handful.” Ava said examining Sara´s torso and while doing so, she let her hands slide from Sara´s shoulders down to her hands “I don´t want you to rush things, Sara.” Ava looked at Sara with honesty in her eyes.  
“It doesn´t feel rushed, babe. By the way, does that pretty head of yours stop thinking at any point of time?”  
“No, I don´t think so.” Ava brushed a strand of Sara´s hair behind her ears and lifted herself up, so she was sitting on the bed and Sara was sitting on top of her lap.  
This position provided Ava the most beautiful sight of Sara´s cleavage and the black bra she was wearing.   
“You´re beautiful.” Ava said and kissed Sara´s neck.  
She let her lips trace a line down to collarbone and when she arrived on the descent of her neck to her shoulder Ava bit the part of skin softly and she could hear Sara gasping. Even with the flesh between her teeth she could not contain her grin. Sara tried to kiss her again, but Ava managed to dodge her attempt and kissed her way down Sara´s decollate, while opening her bra.  
By the time Ava got rid of Sara´s bra, Sara decided that she should just let go and savor what ava did to her and her body. She lay her arms around Ava´s neck who started kissing her way down to Sara´s nipple by now.  
Ava licking and sucking around Sara´s nipple felt like fireworks, she held Ava in place. She could feel Ava´s hand wandering down her way to where here panty´s started and nearly lost it right then.  
Ava paused for a moment for any sign of resentment coming from Sara and when she felt none, she sliped her hand underneath Sara´s waistband.  
“Wow, baby, you´re so wet.” Ava looked at Sara, stunned. Sara just smiled, hoping that Ava would not stop right then and there.   
“For the love of god, Ava. Don´t stop, that´s mean.” Sara started to become upset from Ava´s teasing.  
Ava grinned and pressed her lips on Sara´s. In exactly that moment Ava stroked Sara´s clit with her middle finger just once and she could feel the ripple that went through Sara´s body and also, she could hear her gasping again. This sound was something Ava would never get tired of hearing.   
Ava pulled her hand out of Sara´s panties again, hoisted her up and turned them, so she was lying on top of Sara. She kissed her way down Sara´s body, pulling Sara´s underwear with her and when she nearly reached her target, she stopped and put her arms under Sara´s legs and made her spread her legs. Sara obliged in anticipation, there was nothing other than Ava in her mind and the fact that the woman, who was about to eat her out, was the reason that her spiraling thoughts of the last months were completely gone, made her smile.   
Ava stuck her tongue out and started licking and sucking around Sara´s clit, softly and more demandingly after. She enjoyed the gasps and moans coming from Sara, even though she didn´t take Sara to be so vocal. She enjoyed it though. From the way Sara´s mouth parted, her eyes indicated she was gone far, and from her ragged breathing, Ava could tell, that Sara was damn close, so she slid two fingers inside of Sara and moved them in rhythm, softly, but demanding.  
Sara screamed and hollered Ava´s name throughout her orgasm and Ava looked at her in awe.  
When Sara stilled, Ava crawled all the way up to Sara and wrapped her arms around Sara.  
“Hey, baby, are you okay?” Ava asked lovingly.  
“Yeah, I am. I hope so are you. This was just beautiful, Ava, just don´t get used to it, I usually don´t like that sort of vanilla sex.”  
“Oh, that hurts, Sara.” Ava looked at her wide eyed.  
“Yeah there is no need for you to be hurt, I would have said something if I didn´t like it that way, today.” Sara kissed Ava´s cheek.  
“Soooooo, what do you like better, then?” Ava stared at the ceiling.  
“Sara smirked and straddled Ava before she could even react “How about I show you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the chapter, or was there anything you did not like at all?   
> Please tell me, I am thrilled for your opinoin.  
> Stay safe.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys, I'm sorry, I keep you waiting for the last chapter. I am at the hospital, again and I really can't wrap my head around writing here. As soon as I can leave and feel ready to write I will update. Until then, stay safe.


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